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Random
He knows more than he thinks, but is not as smart as he proclaims, ever the dramatizer, he likes to exaggerate which leads to inconsistencies in his stories. He is effortlessly handsome, but cute at the same time. And he tries to tell the truth, in the most innocent way possible. Always one for dad jokes and puns, he'll often leave you cringing to yourself, and sometimes his comebacks are on point. He has had an awkward social life, and broken the hearts of many friends and acquaintances. A gamer who never rages, a hiker who is lacking lungs for running, a musician who can't sing(but does so anyway), and a friend who won't leave you alone(both a pro and con).
Texting
Crush: YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE
*proceeds to jump off bridge*
Matthew: *into my arms*
Crush: Cringy ***** lmao
Boy with glasses and wears white champion shoes who period 1 is algebra 1 and his 5th period is science
Matthew was on his phone in class basically all the time but he never got caught
He’s tall and has lots of tattoos. Thinks all urban dictionary words are written by middle school girls *tin foil hat emoji*
“ Like cmon these were all clearly written by middle school girls” -Matthew
A name given to a illusive hominid who has a particular interest in crossdressing and the trans community. Known to roam the Northern Irish countryside, they (or it) can usually be found raiding nutritional supplement storages at night.
Known to have little body hair but also somehow resembling Lionel Ritchie, they are known to feast on BCAAs and various flavours of preworkout before falling into a blind rage, decimating local McDonald's and kebab shops.
"Did you take my BCAAs?"
"No. I don't even workout."
"Oh God. I think it's the Matthew.
A fucking canabalistic cunt who eats his grandma’s booty for breakfast.
Matthew, the canabalistic cunt is a coon with a Virginia on his head
related to incest.
that’s all.
person 1: hey have you seen matthew
person 2: he’s kabanging his sister again