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When you're banging your bitch and when she just about to climax you pull out and yell "I'M GOING TO PUT A CACTUS IN YOUR VAGINA" and then proceed to put a banana up there instead. The surprise is that there's no cactus, there's banana.
Guy: *pulls out, prepares for a Cactus Surprise* "I'M GOING TO PUT A CACTUS IN YOUR VAGINA"
Girl: *screams*
Guy: *puts banana in her instead*
Girl: *screams, but not from pain*
when having sex with a girl she gets her period and get blood on your cock
why are you washing your cock in the sink? last night shaqunna gave me a bloody mary surprise
When you're having sex and you feel a cold nose hit your balls.
I was getting busy with the lady friend and almost hit the ceiling when I got the puppersnoot surprise
When one shits into a condom, freezes it overnight, and shoves it up someone's anus without their permission or knowing about it until after the shit has been charged inside them.
I gave my girlfriend the Alaskan Surprise; I thought it was funny, but she hasn't talked to me in days.
Same as a normal sock surprise, however, it is done with a used sock and going commando. The resulting odor can be used as either an aphrodisiac or as a way to disorientate your new friend.
guy 1: Did you pull off that sock surprise last night?
guy 2: You bet!...but I did a dirty sock surprise. As soon as I pulled that magic out and she caught a whiff, it was as if candles lit the room and kenny g played played a single breath solo...she didn't care about the size of my penis anymore, love was in the air!
A tinder surprise is when you match with someone on tinder and their first message is an unsolicited dick pic/pussy pic. Like a kinder surprise except instead of a toy you get unwanted genetalia
Yo i matched with this awesome girl on tinder but i got a tinder surprise.