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(noun) Someone who is extremely stupid and forgetful.
Refers to ancient practice of attatching two mittens to a long string and then placing each through opposite sleeves on your coat so that when you remove the mittens you do not lose them.
Wife: "Happy anniversary honey!"
Husband: "Oh, that's right, today is our anniversary"
Wife: "Idiot mitten!"
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level 2 in the "Levels of Awkward". Mittens are just a little bit more awkward then turtles. I mean, think about it...essentially, you're left with one giant, flipper-like finger, and then a thumb, just kinda hanging out there in space. Awkward mittens is done by holding your hands up, facing out, with all the fingers together, and spinning the thumbs.
An example of an awkward mittens moment:
When your friend sees a picture of you and says, "Wow...you didn't have to make yourself look more ugly then you already are."
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Clumsy or uncoordinated in an endearing or cute way. Based on the difficulty people have picking things up or performing tricky manual tasks while wearing mittens. This is especially the case with woollen mittens, which not only impede the individual use of your fingers but also get easily covered in dirt or snow.
This term also pertains to the type of people who wear mittens; slightly strange children, possibly quite sheltered or with learning difficulties. These children sometimes had their mittens pinned to their clothing or wore a string connecting the mittens under the outer clothing layers so as to prevent their mittens being lost. It is the image of this child with a haircut their mum gave them and matching mittens and beanie that the adjective ‘mitten’ refers to.
'Ugh, I was so drunk last night, I dropped my beer like 3 times, I am such a mitten'
'Oh wow, did you see that mitten? That little kid totally ran into that sliding glass door.'
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The act of inserting one's penis into the rectum of a female while simultaneously inserting his testicles into her vagina.
That bitch was down to do some freak shit, so we tried out the squishy mitten.
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The act of putting one of your hands up a girl's pussy, and the other up her asshole.
Barbara and I have a mutualistic relationship when we Meat Mittens during the winter time.
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Any thing worn over the cock and balls, usually a sock
Guy 1: this nudist colony is a great idea
Guy 2: yeah, but its frezzin' balls out here
Guy 1: Its alright, have manhood mittens for everyone!
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Clit mitten is the clitorises equivalent to the labia meat curtains. Clit mitten is a extremely large clitoris that usually hangs down and covers the labia.
That bitch had a huge clit mitten, but i bet it kept her warm on a cold day.
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