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A sexual act closely related to a handjob. The receiver positions themselves so his phallus is accessible. At precisely the top of the hour, a partner grasps the receiver’s phallus and yanks on it with the force equivalent to the bell-ringers at Big Ben. This is succeeded by a shriek of either happiness or pain from the receiver. The amount of tugs depends on the time at the top of the hour. Dubbed “The Westminster Alarm Clock” due to Hugh Lupus Grosvenor, the Duke of Westminster, having the act performed on him prior to the construction of Big Ben. Disgruntled neighbors typically awoke to 8 loud evenly spaced shrieks each morning.
Gina: What time is it?
Colin: Noon. Why?
Gina: No reason…
Colin: AH! AH! AH! AH! AH! AH! AH! AH! AH! AH! AH! AH!
Charlie: Sounds like Colin is getting one hell of a Westminster Alarm Clock. Oh shit! It’s noon! I’m gonna be late for that lunch date!
When you get really drunk and order a pizza online after the store has closed. You forget that you ordered a pizza because you were drunk and there is a pizza in the stores queue in the morning. They proceed to deliver the pizza when they reopen in the morning. You hear a knock on your door while you are sleeping and in the doorway stands the pizza man who just served as your alarm clock.
**Knock Knock**
Ben (answers door): Damnit Blake! did you order a pizza last night?
Blake: I don't think so, we were pretty drunk though let me check my app.
Blake: Ah shit, looks like I ordered a pizza at 3:30am last night.
Ben: Classic, another alarm clock pizza.
This knee charmer is often found in unique individuals with ties to super rich secret submarine service. Although known in military jargon as “foreign objects“, emergency surgery usually unearths armament shrapnel and pieces of snooze buttons from top quality alarm clocks. Still as mysterious as jimmy Hoffa’s disappearance, this enigma of a titillating experience is easily summarized as suspenseful supreme “pop” sensation and not for the feeble mortal, a UFO Alarm Clock is like kryptonite to Superman. If you ever run into someone who has experienced the rare UFO alarm clock, feel free to gift them only the best sour beers for a speedy recovery!
“Hey John, I heard about that UFO Alarm Clock”, you good bro?”
“Yeah man, nothing a good Sour Brew can’t fix”
When you sleep through your alarms and your friends come over to wake you up by banging on your bedroom window.
"Austin's phone died last night, but the ghetto alarm clock woke him up."
Walking into someone's room while they're sleeping with a frying pan in one hand and a wooden spoon in the other hand and proceeding to bang them together whilst inside the room.
#1: Hey bro you look tired.
#2: Yeah. My sister gave me a military alarm clock this morning.
The turbin wearing guy that blows himself up in the morning
Wow my new Arabic alarm clock is great! Too bad it's a one-use only item
Waking up in the morning to a surprise rimjob from a significant other
“Dude, my girlfriend woke me up with a Thailand Alarm Clock this morning!”