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Chuck Norris

One of the worst actors of all time. He thinks he's the greatest man to walk the earth since Jesus. He often tries to attempt martial arts, but most of the time he cannot accompish much of anything because he's wearing tight jeans, a flanel shirt, and a very large cowboy hat. He starred in the Tv series Walker: Texas Ranger, where he can be found in the same attire as stated above. In this series, which has gone down as one of the worst TV series ever, and is only loved by gopher eating hicks and gold prospectors, Chuck Norris fights "bad guys" by methods including: kicking, punching, slapping, and occasionally shooting with varius projectile weapons. So basically the show comes off as a weak attempt to be MacGyver, only with less resourceful inventions, and a little bit less mullet. Other than TV Chuck Norris has starred in horrible movies and made for TV movies (The Walker: Texas Ranger Movie). In these movies he does pretty much the same actions as he does in Walker: Texas Ranger, however the outfits may vary occasionally (may I emphasize the occasionally). So in all, Chuck Norris is one of the biggest failures America has ever seen. I will conclude with the tagline from his movie "Sidekicks": "A dreamer and a champion. An unbeatable team, until his hero stepped out of his fantasies to fight by his side." Sexual fantasies? Yes, I think so. Gross. Thank you.

Bad Guy: "What do you want Walker?"
Walker: "Fifty years of your life"
*Bad guy slowly pulls out gun, Walker quickly pulls out gun and shoots him*

Asian Man: "I like your Ranger Walker."

by Ralph Wiggum March 16, 2005

4957πŸ‘ 895πŸ‘Ž


The Chuck Norris

Sex Move. Whilst the female (or male) is sucking on your shaft, he/she proceeds to 'speedbag' your ballsack.

Guy: This sex is fun, but i need a change.
Girl: How about i give you The Chuck Norris?

by WlkrTxsRngr June 8, 2009

14πŸ‘ 2πŸ‘Ž


The Chuck Norris

After receiving fellatio, finish off by cumming in the bitch's eye which intentionally blinds her as you unexpectantly and swiftly give her a roundhouse kick to the head.

"Dude, I totally gave that bitch the Chuck Norris last night."

by Carlos Ray October 29, 2011

15πŸ‘ 3πŸ‘Ž


The Chuck Norris

The act of taking someone's virginity while on a Bowflex.

I totally got The Chuck Norris at the gym yesterday.

by Those are the fax March 2, 2009

13πŸ‘ 3πŸ‘Ž


The Chuck Norris

A sexual Act involving penetration of a Women's ass with a cowboy boot whilst assuring her that you are wearing protection, you splooge on the Vagina, tits, and face, afterwords, exploding inside of her.

I gave M. LIB the old Chuck Norris last night because she refused to make me food.

Alt. Ex. Roofus gave Kiyesha the Chuck Norris after she tried to talk back to him, thus making her ass two times too big.

by Dr. Cornwalice April 20, 2008

14πŸ‘ 5πŸ‘Ž


Chuck Norris

Ozzy Osborn bit the head off of a bat. Not to be out done, Chuck Norris bit the head off of Batman. The man is a force to be reckoned with, and if you don't know who he is, don't worry he knows who you are and he's coming for you.

Before the Partwii, Lauren, the cyborg, bus surfed over to Mickey D’s with his brofriend Chuck Norris and bought a McGangbang happy meal with the funds that he jacked from his sugar momma after his disco nap that afternoon. Chuck pulled out his phone from his nuthuggers and started sexting a ginger slice with a tramp stamp that he had been friendly following ever since they shared a game of Jager pong. Lauren gave Chuck the air jerk as he noticed Tanasa the grade digger that sat next to him in his art class. Lauren gave her the β€œlet’s just be friends” nod and grabbed his happy meal. As Lauren walked outside he saw, Bruce, the designated drunk, as he started wailing teenybopper show tunes. Bruce was manstrating again and wanted his fix of Dr. Pepper and Big league chew. The night of celebrating Lauren’s nomotion had barely even started and already he was knackered.

by Micron X February 24, 2010

67πŸ‘ 36πŸ‘Ž


Chuck Norris

1) Great martial artist. He'd kick any of your asses.
2) Horrible actor, don't kid yourself. Even HE knows he's not a good actor.
3) Star of many great movies (eg. Missing In Action) and TV shows (eg. Walker Texas Ranger).
4) Center of the internet craze of "Chuck Norris Facts", where people made up one liners about how amazing Chuck Norris is. They were hilarious when they came out in early-mid 2005, but now everyone and their dead grandma has heard these jokes, and they're getting old.

Chuck Norris himself has offered commentary on these jokes:
"I'm aware of the made up declarations about me that have recently begun to appear on the Internet and in emails as 'Chuck Norris facts.' I've seen some of them. Some are funny. Some are pretty far out. Being more a student of the Wild West than the wild world of the Internet, I'm not quite sure what to make of it. It's quite surprising. I do know that boys will be boys, and I neither take offense nor take these things too seriously. Who knows, maybe these made up one-liners will prompt young people to seek out the real facts as found in my recent autobiographical book, 'Against All Odds?' They may even be interested enough to check out my novels set in the Old West, 'The Justice Riders', released this month. I'm very proud of these literary efforts."

No matter how many people abuse these jokes, Chuck Norris' tears will ALWAYS cure cancer, yet he will NEVER cry!

by REDWHITEnCrue25 February 22, 2006

193πŸ‘ 123πŸ‘Ž