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Being at your rock bottom living in your office closet, jerking off with a limp dick and the cum lands in a pile of cereal dust that you had dropped two days ago.
Hey! Have you seen Bob lately?
I heard that he fell off the wagon in is now jerking off onto Lucky Charms.
Everyone knows why you have a computer or jerk off station in your house
Person 1: What did you do in the room?
Person 2: Jerk off in someone.
When a guy jerks off intensely making Turkey noises and then cums on his girlfriend's back and sticks feathers to it
Me and my girlfriend might try a wild Turkey jerk off
Also known as DBJO. It's when a guy drives by you in the street while you're walking on the sidewalk and asks for directions for a place he's like really far away from.
When he stops and starts asking you directions he's rubbing one out and he'll keep doing it while you're talking to him. He's likely to drive away if you notice what he's doing and you're not into it and tell him to drive away.
Get his licence plate number and denounce the bastard.
(Drive-by jerk off stops his car next to a woman walking on the sidewalk.
DBJO- Excuse me, do you know where the Placita is?
Woman - Um, that's really far away you are way off.
DBJO- Uh-huh *he is already masturbating*
Woman - Uh, wait , what are you doing?
DBJO- Mm-hmm *keeps masturbating*
Woman - *steps back* Oh my god, go. Just go!
(Drive-by jerk off drives away)
A figurative description of an attitude towards life, as well as your immediate and distant surroundings. When you refer to yourself or someone else 'just Jerking off and smoking Newports',, you are simply trying to convey that you/they are not letting anything current issue take their mind off themselves. It is the most self-absorbed and least constructive activity imaginable.
Once I get my pension, I am just gonna retreat to my apartment in Des Moines, and then I'm just gonna jerk off and smoke Newports until Yellowstone does us all in, THAT's my 5-year plan!
I tried to pursuade him to get more involved in student politics, but he just sits in his room jerking off and smoking Newports like these things don't affect him!
A variation of "Joe Schmoe", this term is used for someone who inserts their opinion when not asked. Additionally, this person thinks they know what they're talking about, even though they have no experience or knowledge on most subject being discussed. You might say a Joe Jerk Off is a member of the Peanut Gallery.
Guy #1: Do you hear this guy talking about shit he knows nothing about?
Guy #2: Yeah, he's a real Joe Jerk Off