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A sassy clueless whore of a mother who lets their children go out and go wherever their BMW'S take them. They are often found at the tanning salon or at the nearest yoga studio. They have over 2,000 friends on Facebook and have no clue where their children are at anytime. Their husbands are always out of town due to "business" or "golf trips". They are against sex but will provide condoms whenever a child is in need of one or ten.
Yoga mom: "hey honey, what are you doing tonight?"
Child: " Oh nothing, can i have $100 for some vodka?"
Yoga Mom: "Oh that okay, just take my 4 bottles of fireball for the night!! Be safe"
Child: "You're such a yoga mom i love you so much"
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(Short for Yoga Session)
When you need to train your glutes and abs by doing some manly yoga. Fun to do after eating nachos and/or cage matching with a bear.
PE Teacher: "Alright guys! We're gonna do 4 sets of Jump Ropes then pop out a sweet Yoga Sesh!"
Class: "This is totally helping us."
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people who like to touch girls butts that are younger than them
wow that guy just touched my ass, he's older than me too!! what a yoga bitch
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Shape without content. The degradation of philosophy into gymnastics and of spiritual depth and perennial wisdom into an aesthetic cliché.
White Girl Yoga is essentially an aesthetic that is often mistaken for spirituality. It is built around pretentiousness, cultural appropriation, neoliberal consumerism and the banalization and trivialization of the sacred, and generally expressed in a color palette of beige and pastels. It is an aesthetic that often lacks the complexity and depth of the systems of knowledge it superficially emulates, mostly for instagram likes from dudes with sacred geometry tattoos .
It can be applied to a variety of situations that while might seem meaningful and deep at first glance, are actually just nicely packaged spiritual cliches or platitudes and pseudo-psychological banalities. A White Girl Yoga aesthetic can range from the purely misguided and innocuous to the opportunistic and obscene.
“I am really not sure about that ayahuasca ceremony. The facilitator seems very White Girl Yoga to me.”
“Can we please change the music? That Spotify playlist is totally White Girl Yoga”
-“Hey, do you like my new top?
-"Wait I can’t tell whether you are asking me seriously or you’re wearing that White Girl Yoga stuff ironically”
the saviour of men, the living god, the preacher of yoga, the man, the myth, the legend. he is the bringer of yoga and healer of wounds. when you get put in jail, Yoga Master Raj is the shining light between sanction and insanity. he guides men through the most difficult of times. high schoolers pray to Yoga Master Raj to get good grades and pass their exams. when you are broke and homeless, the great Yoga Master provides yoga stretches to sustain you and warm you on cold nights.
when Jenisus Chrinst entered this world, he was clapped on the ass by the Yoga Master. when Thanos obtained the infinity shit it wasn't the avengers who stopped him. it was The Yoga Master. Hitler didn't suicide. he was clapped into oblivion by the Yoga Master. Luke Skywalker didn't blow up the death star. it was the Yoga Master. it was The Yoga Master. the Yoga Master built the great pyramids of Egypt. he created the theory of relativity. he threw the one ring into the fires of mount doom. he is more powerful than every human being on the planet. he gave life, yoga, salvation and hope to mankind.
when you see the Yoga Master and realise his great uniting powers you will convert to the holy religion of yoga. when his shining face appears before you he will inspire love and yoga stretches. The Master is the most divine and impeccable being to exist within the great universal planes of life and is the giver of sanity and holiness. if you have read this far the great Yoga Master is with you, always.
Jenry: come brother. let us pray for good times to the great Yoga Master Raj.
Joseph: yes brother. let us roll out our yoga mats and stretch our ass cheeks.
Jeroma: indeed good sirs. the Yoga Master brings salvation and love.
Judy: yes brothers. under the light of the Master, we are all one.
When a woman enters the "wide legged forward fold" yoga position and a man recieves oral sex from her while simultaneously spreading her labia from above and using her vagina as a spit cup.
I hooked up with a confused feminist from a physical therapy training course who wanted to meld progressive sex with redneck values, so I gave her the Yoga Spit Cup.
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When a girl always wears tight pants/jeans to give the appearance that she has a fat ass.
Guy 1: Damn! She got a fat ass!
Guy 2: Nah bruh, she just using the yoga pant effect