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Ok, everyone has that kid at their highschool that is just ridiculously big and swoll for no reason. You know, anybody who doesn't have shit for brains but can bench press 3 times stephen hawkings I.Q. level? There can only be one explanation for this phenomenon: Monster Tard Powers
person one: "hey bill, you know that muscle queen in our math class that thought that pi was literally pie?"
person two:"Yeah i remember that broham"
person one: "I saw him at the gym the other day benching 415"
person two: "dude he must have used his monster tard powers."
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Wrapping your girl entirely in seaweed, except her pussy and fucking her.
Yesterday my girlfriend became a Japanese Seaweed Monster
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When your partner has a runny nose and snorts just before giving you head, causing it to coat your genitals. This can lead to crusting on the tip, blocking your next stream, making for a rude awakening the next morning.
Dude, I think I'm chafing and on top of that, I had to wipe down the whole bathroom after Karen gave me that green no-eyed monster.
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A creature who religious people believe is more ridiculous than "God" for no apparent reason.
Guy 1: Do you believe in God?
Guy 2: I believe in the Flying Spaghetti Monster
Guy 1: That is ridiculous,
Guy 2: As is "god"
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A mysterious monster who is unable to become erect so his noodle-like penis flaps around as he prays on bitties.
The cops found the wanted Nicky Noodle Monster at the elementary ballet recital.
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A fungus that grows in your bucket (smoking device) after many years of smoking. Made mainly from cannabis resin and some kind of mutant mushroom, these delightfull things smell of piss. P.s they only come when you fill a bucket from a river or stream, not clean water.
M. urh man dont suck that bucket its got bucket monsters,
G. throw that filthy thing out, it stinks the shed out.
TB. No there my pets
(actual conversation)
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A monster who has a face made of poo. Also used as an expression of frustration (ie. instead of "bummer," which tools say).
Eric: I just found out I have to work this weekend.
Karen: That's a fucking poo face monster.
Eric. I know... I know...
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