splash blumpkin

Noun. The art of recieving a blumpkin while the toilet is clogged or stuffed, and the water is in the top of the bowl. When feces are released, the increase in volume requires the toilet water to be expelled on to the face of the person giving the afformentioned blowjob.

My buddy clogged the toilet when he flushed the baby down there, and the water was going all over the place. My dirty bitch went down on me anyway and she gave me a splash blumpkin.

39👍 10👎

country blumpkin

A blumpkin that is recieved in a porta potty or outhouse rather than the typical toilet.

He's taking forever...he must be getting a country blumpkin in there.

13👍 3👎

wet blumpkin

A blumpkin given while experencing a case of diarrhea.

She gave me a wet blumpkin, and it took her an hour to get her face cleaned up.

13👍 2👎

blumpkin burger

The blumpkin burger is a more extreme version the already grotesque blumpkin, where the receiver of the blumpkin, as he is about to ejaculate, reaches down into the toilet bowl, grabs a piece of his feces, and slaps the giver across the face with it. The resulting block of feces looks similar to a burger patty, thus the name “blumpkin burger.” It is about as rare as a South China tiger and maybe as difficult to pull off as a golden hailstorm.

For the even more adventurous: there’s a variant called the bumpkin Big Mac, which involves double the hands, double the feces, and double the cheeks. The end result looks like McDonald’s famous burger which puts two patties layered between three buns.

After forty years of marriage, Doris and Peter hit a roadblock in their sex life. Peter now has ED, but Doris still craves that good good. So, one night, Doris found an article with ways to spice things up in the bedroom.

“A blumpkin, huh? Interesting…”

The next morning, Peter hit the john as he normally did. As he sat down, he was startled to a nude Doris in front of him.

“W-what are you doing?” / “Giving you what you need.”

As she went down on him, Peter could actually feel his penis working properly for the first time in years, and he was actually pretty turned on. But he couldn’t shake the fact that this sex act was incredibly filthy. She was almost ruining his favorite time of the day.

In an act of rage, right as Peter started to reach the plateau, he used his left hand to pull Doris down, deeper onto his member, far enough so she couldn’t see her surroundings. With his right hand, he reached behind him and into the toilet bowl, grabbed a piece of feces and, right as he was finishing inside her mouth, pulled Doris off his penis with his left hand and slapped her with the poop patty in his right hand, gracing her with the coveted blumpkin burger.

“WHAT THE FUCK DORIS?”

“I DID IT BECAUSE I FUCKING LOVE YOU PETER,” she retorted while semen and feces sprayed out of her mouth.

As tears streamed down her face, Peter couldn’t help but be slightly aroused by the whole situation, so he looked Doris in the eye and then proceeded to make copious love on the bathroom tile.

13👍 2👎

The Covington Blumpkinator

The action of a person receiving a blowjob and getting their ass hole eaten out at the same time while taking a poop.

Taylor and Katie break down bathroom doors in Covinton High School in order to give The Covington Blumpkinator to their terrified victims.

13👍 2👎

blumpkin fiesta

While you are sitting on the toilet, taking a crap, you're partner is giving you a blow job wearing a sombrero, which is filled with tortilla chips and salsa. Upon finishing, your partner looks up and says "Ole!"

While in the bathroom relieving myself of the taco bell I ate earlier, my partner came in and gave me a blumpkin fiesta!

13👍 2👎

blumpkin turnover

where the women is flipped upside down in a 69 position while doing a blumpkin so that she has a close up view of the fecal release.

that bitch likes to get splashed in the face so we do a blumpkin turnover.

36👍 9👎