German Squeegee

The act of pressing your buttcheeks against a pane of glass and farting. This can be done while your pants are still on, but the act is best visualized without pants -- and from the other side of the glass, for optimal viewing. For an even better visual, you may perform this act while suffering from diarrhea, but be careful to avoid the inevitable splash and collateral coverage.

You know the German Squeegee Bob butt-pressed on the bank's front window? He must have had the Hershey Squirts something fierce because they still haven't been able to clean it off. Seriously, it looks like someone shot a turd at the window at Mach 3!

40👍 4👎

german flag

When you simultaneously piss and shit while on your period at the same time

“yo i just had a german flag it hurt like hell”
“that sucks man im sorry”

German joke

An exceptionally good (or bad) pun which would make an American groan. This MUST be delivered with a perfectly straight face. It is considered an art form, called "Wortspiel" in Germany.

Person A -- Did you hear about the guy who drove his car into a tree to find out how a Mercedes bends?

Person Q -- *GROAN* Damn your German joke!

17👍 1👎

German sub

A huge shit

Jerry took a german sub

German Toppy

When a girl (usually a Thot) performs oral sex for any Dusty nigga that should cross her path

He told me she gave him that good German Toppy.

Arschkarte (German)

1. Arschkarte:
Arsch=Ass
Karte=card
Arschkarte=Asscard
A synonym for the "red card" in soccer.
Reason: When they started to watch soccer on the TV, they couldn't tell the yellow cards from the red cards, because of the lack of color. So The referees started to keep the yellow card in the bag of their shirt and the red one in their trousers. So iteraly near their ass.

2.Arschkarte:
If something went wrong, you got the bad card, ergo the arschkarte.

1. Das ist doch kein Grund für die scheiß Arschkarte (german)!
That's not a reason for the damm red card!

2. Da hast du voll die Arschkarte gezogen!
You got the bad card/Dude thas bad luck

41👍 6👎

german valentine

when on valentine's day a love is given what seems like a box of chocolates but instead of chocolate it is filled with frozen turds.

"I gave Sandy a German valentine"

"Did it have nuts?"