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the act of masturbating using an oven roasted turkey as simulation.
friend: hey man what were you doing last night when i called and you didn't pick up?
me: awww man i was doin the good old perky turkey jerky, warm that shit up to 350 degrees, cut the hole, shit slides right in!
17👍 6👎
Absurdly early in the morning. See also zero dark thirty, asscrack or buttcrack of dawn, dark o'clock or stupid o'clock
"I need a power nap. I'm not used to being up at beef jerky in the morning."
"Bro, this better be important – it's beef jerky in the morning here."
Hey, there's that jerky little prick Travis. Let's go kick his ass all over this parking lot.
10👍 3👎
The act of having sexual relations with skanks, tramps or women who are easy.
Dude you better lay off pounding bad jerky, or you will be sorry.
A Joseph Jacky is when you jerk off your carrot dick while dressed as a Jew watching a hitler porno, once you cum into your belly button you scoop it up with a plunger that has been used then take the cum plunger and throw it into a dryer and wait 4 days for the cum to rot. Once it rots take it out and feed it to your dog, then pistol whip him. Once you pistol whip him take his dead body, deep fry him then throw him/her at your local orphanage and then proceed to burn down the orphanage.
Dude I heard Carson totally did the Joseph jerky last night.
2👍 17👎
A drunken game where 2 bros watch scat porn and the first to get hard has to jerk himself and the participant off onto a biscuit in between them, then has to eat both loads off the biscuit in one bite.
If the loser fails to eat the biscuit in one bite or fails to make the participant and himself cum in 10 minutes the punishment is to finger himself while jerking off, then cum onto the shitty finger and suck it all off clean.
1: Yo bro we playing Edward Jerky Hands tonight?
2: ofcourse but you better cum this time, my ass is still sore from last nights jerky hands!
The child birthed from basting the turkey
That poor unfortunate tiny turkey jerky. His parents were basting the turkey