safety screen

Another safe website or program you have open, so that when you are looking at a dirty site or NSFW material you can quickly switch/exit to that window, making you look perfectly innocent. Casually whistle when a person looks at your screen for added effect. Best for people with quick reflexes.

I was looking at porn today, but luckily I tabbed to my safety screen when my boss walked by.

safety square

A condom: a square packaged device that provides safety during sex

Guy: I want sex but I don't have condoms
Girl: don't worry I got some safety squares

Safety Car

A vehicle which is employed in many motorsports, but notably in F1. It is deployed onto the track whenever an incident happens, and while it's on the track, no driver is allowed to overtake and must follow the pace.

Subject A: Safety Car deployed

Subject B: What happened?

Subject A: Car #9 spun off the track, got stuck in the gravel

Safety Third

The old expression means; whatever it is you are doing, it first and secondly ain't safety.

The roofing crew will be on the project tomorrow regardless of the potential for ice overnight, safety third.

Safety Mark

A word to describe that you have prepared yourself readily for the event ahead.

Tom and Benny had to go for camp. As they were leaving the house...

Tom: Are you ready to go?

Benny: Obviously.. I have Safety Marked a thousand times just now!

Tom: Ok, lets go!

Safety Paper

The toilet paper you place in the toilet if there isn't already something covering the water. To reduce splash.

"No matter how fast I'm rushing to take a poo, I always have time to lay down some safety paper, so I don't get splashed."

Safety Pod

The iPod you take on a road trip when other passengers in the car have already volunteered to be in charge of the music for the trip. Because you doubt their taste in music, you bring your own iPod as a backup for when they experience shuffle shame.

Joe: So we're all set for the trip to the beach. I'm driving..Bob, you are in charge of the music.
Bob: Sure, just don't be surprised when a random country song or NKOTB comes on.
Mark:...uh, yeah I'll be bringing my safety Pod...