failing asleep

This term describes the nightly experience of those unfortunate schmucks who just absolutely cannot fucking fall asleep, no matter how much thrashing around in bed they do or how much ruminating over past mistakes they indulge in. Instead of falling asleep, an insomniac is simply failing asleep.

Alice: "Wow, you look like hell"
Bob: "<mumble> last night I was failing asleep and couldn't stop thinking about some shit from middle school when I got my bike stolen"

Fail Goose

A Fail Goose is someone who does something so massively lame that they have simply failed at life. They are in turn called a fail goose.

Also, the collective term for a group of people failing together is a flock of fail geese.

This term is becoming popular and is sometimes seen tagged through twitter as #failgoose.

Jean: You spelled together wrong, its spelt T-O-G-E-T-H-R
Bob: OMG, ur such a fail goose.

Priority Fail

Any point in time when a spouse, child, family member or ANYONE ELSE in your physical perimeter becomes subordinate to text, email, tweet or any other virtual bullshit method of communication.

Hey mom, did you hear about the kid that turned COVID positive at school today?
***continues texting***
Yeah, so it turns out that he was at the graduation party last week.
***continues texting***
And so I got tested for the virus.
***continues texting***
I'm positive for COVID-19

WHAT!!!! WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY SOMETHING!? YOU COULD INFECT ALL OF US!!

(Priority Fail)

Fail Mob

When a flash mob goes horribly wrong.

"That was such a fail mob, they announced what they were going to do before anyone even started dancing."

epic fail

Complete and total failure when success should have been reasonably easy to attain.

<after getting pwned in a video game>

Player1 Dude, we just got reamed
Player2 Yeah, Epic Fail

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panda fail

A "panda fail" occurs when someone is so unsuccessful at a particular task (ie. the apparent lack of sex drive among pandas) that the person's existance is no longer necessary.

Bob's decline of his wife's offer to have sex with her while concurrently eating a sandwich was a total panda fail.

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senses fail

Possibly one of the most amazing and underrated emocore bands from Ridgewood NJ(Better Recognize). See these guys live. Their lyrics are amazing and the instrumental aspect is insane.

Senses Fail is one of the greatest bands out there!

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