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Sex is like pizza: if its not good... its still pretty good
Girl: So how was sex?
Dude: eh not bad but hey still pretty good!
Dude 1: so hows that pizza?
Dude 2: not bad but still pretty good.
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The easiest way to get an unpleasant disease...
....AND THE FUNNEST!!
'Dude, I got a venereal'
'Was it worth it?'
'Oh yeahhh...'
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the act of having sex with someone
i sexed him last night. ;)
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there are many different forms of sex.
one being preformed orally. either a woman sucks a mans genitals or a man massages or bites a womans vagina. dont forget gay and lebian couples either.
another being anal sex. a man inserts his penis into a man or womans anus and pumps it back and forth.
and then there is vaginal sex....
a penis is inserted into the vagina and pumped back and forth.
there are many different positions and props used to make this pleasurable activity much more exciting.
things such as handcuffs, whips, chains, skimpy little outfits ("let's play doctor babe"), and other things.
condoms are a NECESSITY if you dont wish to get pregnant or any sort of STD.
STAY SAFE KITTIES!!!!!!111
after a romantic evening out, jane and bob stood outside jane's apartment door.
jane shuffled her feet nervously as she tried to muster up the courage to invite bob inside.
but bob, being the understanding type knew exactly what to do.
"jane would you mind if i stayed for a while?"
jane smiled a big smile. "i'd love you to stay."
feeling so happy and excited, jane kissed bob.
and this little innoccent kiss turned into a big big kiss.
the door locked behind them.
clothes on the floor.
heavy breathing.
and then with one hand massaging janes breast, bob reached over and pulled a condom off the nightstand.
but jane liked being dominant during sex, so she slapped bob across the face and they quickly switched positions.
jane on top.
as his penis entered her vagina, bob began to moan and sweat.
jane pulled handcuffs from beneath her pillow, chained bob to the bed.
worked him so hard he screamed.
she slapped him again, harder...
"YOU FUCKING SLUT!" bob yelled, a grin on his face.
"Scream, bob, you know you want to... dont make me force you!"
bob screamed.
louder louder.
his head pounding against the headboard as jane thrusted her hips into his.
finally bobs grip on the sheets tightened and he let out the loudest scream yet.
jane lowered her head and swallowed his cum.
this would be known as hot, kinky sex.
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In the exact words of my ancient Shaolin Master:
"Sex is the most fun you can have without laughing."
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extremely cool, sweet, amazing, like orgasmic sex
tina: that was the sex
me: huh?
tina: i just had totinos pizza rolls
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