Plastic Surgery

HOOOOOOOOOKAY.... Okay.... So...

Plastic Patient "I did it to feel better about myself!"

Hym "That isn't a thing! HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO SAY IT!? HOOOOOOOOOOOOOH MAN! I'm heated! I'm tight off of that! Ok! Ok... That isn't a thing that exists. There is no 'better about yourself' to feel. It's like Santa Claus. You're trying to find Santa Claus. No matter how much time you spend scouring the north pole, you're not going to find Santa Claus. There's no Santa Claus to find! That's what 'doing things to feel better about yourself' is like. So plastic surgery, anything like that. It isn't a thing that exists. It doesn't matter what you do. You're never going to feel better about yourself. It isn't real. It's not a thing. Stop trying to do it. It's irritating to watch."

Plastic Surgeon "You know you can make a pretty decent living as a plastic surgeon."

Hym "I'm going to murder you. I'm going to kill you and I'm not going to stop with you. I'll kill and kill and when I'm done killing all of you I'm going to train more plastic surgeons jist so I will have more plastic surgeons to kill. I won't ever stop! Train. Murder. Train. Murder. That's what my life is going to be from now on. For eternity. Because I know once I start I'll never be able to sate my thirst for surgeon blood. Aliens will pick up the radio signals we shot into space and behind them will be the screams of surgeons, echoing through the universe. 'AAAHHH!!! AAAHHH! MY FACE! MY FAAAACE! HE'S CARVING MY FAAAACE!!!' "

Buckeye Bung Surgery

More commonly known as Anal retread procedure, is the surgery required by all Ohio State fans after The Game today. Buckeye Bung Surgery is usual sought by patients due to lack of anal elasticity. Failure to have procedure will cause rogue turds failing from you anus and a very unhappy lover. Go Blue.

Zachs asshole is so blown out after The Game today his boyfriend will surely be scheduling a a Buckeye Bung Surgery appointment.