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Surf n' Turd

Reverse blumpkin; when a female is droppin' a deuce while a guy simultaneously tongue punches her meat curtains

My girl was horny but she had to take a shit so we opted for the surf n' turd.

by Wolfpack, Inc. February 26, 2016

1๐Ÿ‘ 1๐Ÿ‘Ž


[Phantom Turd] Menace

(Noun)Someone who likes to defacate in unlikely public places, with or without the support of onlookers. This is often for a feeling of shock-satisfaction.

Come back here you Phantom Turd Menace and clean that stinking feces from my fridge

Huey! Next time you're at the peep show, try masturbating instead of power-shitting all over the window like a Phantom Turd Menace!

by Boy J, aka: mull January 13, 2009


smoking a turd in purgatory

An admonition given to an individual who engages in socially unacceptable behavior, especially at the expense of another.

"I told Jimmy that if he didn't apologize to that nun for asking if it was her breath or her pussy that smelled terrible, he would be smoking a turd in purgatory."

by Politically Incorrect Schmuck June 13, 2006

21๐Ÿ‘ 5๐Ÿ‘Ž


turd in the punch bowl

1. Southernism. Adds a certain repugnance to describe an idea, remark or occurrence that fell flat, killed conversation, was socially unacceptable, or went over like the proverbial lead balloon.

2. Similarly, a gauche, socially inept or unwelcome person who has a stultifying effect on social gatherings, or, by extension, was involved in some futile or hugely unpopular effort.

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1. -- "All I did was tell one harmless little dirty joke and the whole room went silent. Apparently I had crossed some kind of taboo. No one even chuckled at the joke; it was a veritable turd in the punchbowl. I felt like one too, since the whole party immediately seized up and everyone stared at me."

2.(a) -- "There we were discussing local politics, and who shows up uninvited and parks himself right in the middle of our group? Little Georgie, the mayor's brat, who has an unerring sense of inappropriateness. I'd rather see a turd in the punch bowl than have to deal with that nuisance."

(b) "Practically everyone in town was in favor of a weeknight youth curfew, but as usual our "freethinking" pastor went contrary and opposed it. He didn't change anyone's mind. I think he's a jinx! A turd in the punch bowl of civic affairs."

by al-in-chgo March 1, 2010

51๐Ÿ‘ 19๐Ÿ‘Ž


volunteer turd bodea

The refreshing unexpected splash back of toilet water into your ballon knot when your spincter doesn't close fast enough. Usually caused by an extremely dense turd shot out at high velocity.

Rick loved the cool refreshness from the volunteer turd bodea he recieved after taking his dump after slamming beers and eating peanuts the night before.

by Lickster August 23, 2008

14๐Ÿ‘ 3๐Ÿ‘Ž


turd dry dock

after turning off the water supply to toilet and flushing all water out of toilet....do your business. thus, turd dry dock. useful for occasions where you want to piss somebody off or just gross them out.

joel- hey mike, did you go to your boss' christmas party?

mike- yeah, that bastard gave me a no-motion so i did a turd dry dock right before i left his house party!

joel- did you do the thing where you unroll the toilet paper without tearing it off and wipe your ass and then roll it back up for the next asshole?

mike- of course!

by dark korner January 13, 2010

13๐Ÿ‘ 3๐Ÿ‘Ž


Turd Garden Haircut

Turd Garden Haircut

Kodak Black is sportinโ€™ a fresh โ€œTurd Garden Haircut.โ€

by Solzhenitsyn December 31, 2022

7๐Ÿ‘ 1๐Ÿ‘Ž