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Basically the biggest college in the world with black enrollment. Not to mention that like 3 Asians and 5 white people go there. Highest SAT scores of entering students are in the upper 300's for each section. Basically you can get in there even if you didn't graduate high school or if you slept through your entire SAT.
John: " Jill where you going to college?"
Jill: " Bethune-Cookman University with Laquisha, we're going to rip right into the partying"
John: " You mean you will get ripped open right away"
Jill: " WHAT???!!"
John: "..........."
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Could very well be the worst on-campus University in the United States. It is the only university in the country that would accept anything that walks on two legs and has a pulse. People with sat scores in the 900's get accepted to this school. Also, it has a graduation rate of 29%.
It's business school and engineering school are unaccredited, yet the university was founded in 1949.
Everybody that goes here say they go to the best university in Arizona and they will get connections through Colangelo because that's what the business school is named after. I say again: they will accept almost anyone
Tyler: my girl just said she going to the worst school in the country
Me: Grand Canyon University?
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The University of New England is where people "drive" around tractors. They all love country music. Girls meet tall skinny white boys. Guys are lucky to meet a nice girl because the girls usually become lesbians because the guys suck so bad.
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Soka University is a four-year liberal-arts college and graduate school in Aliso Viejo, CA. Half of the students are from the US and half from 40 other countries. SUA is founded upon peace, human rights and the sanctity of life and every student studies abroad for a semester -- it's a requirement for graduation.
SUA fosters "global citizens dedicated to living a contributive life." www.soka.edu
Soka University of America -- One mile from the Pacific Ocean and on the way to making a difference.
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The bronze medal of Michigan. No matter how you spin it this school is worse than Michigan--the gold Medal of the state. The boys are dumb and act like wiggers. The girls are pretty but very very stupid. These kids wanted to go to Michigan their whole lives, but then they got what us "rodents" never receive--a rejection letter. State students should get used to seeing a lot of these. It is more of a party school--I guess. But it gets old fast when you realize the only thing to do is to drink beer from a red cup at a party where you can't even move. Get used to beer pong, because that is all there is to do there. Michigan on the other hand has, parties, a far better bar scene, and museums. Plus its in Ann Arbor so there is always some cultural event. East Lansing just has the shitty bar known as Rick's. Also the water tastes like crap for some reason. The only advantage to State is that its football and basketball teams are beating ours at the moment. Then again if you think that is a real advantage your a moron. Sports teams go up and down all the time. I hope its a big comfort for you state kids when its time to get my coffee.
Dad on son's day of birth: My son is a Michigan boy all the way. He's going to get a michigan cradle, a Michigan blanket, and a miniature Michigan outfit.
Son at age 16: Oh boy me and my Dad are going up to Michigan today. We've been going to the Big House for the Michigan v Michigan State game ever since I can remember. I can't wait until I finally get to Ann Arbor.
Dad when son is 18: My son screwed around and ruined his future. I have to smile and pretend like I'm so proud he's going to Michigan State University. But to be honest I'm jealous of your son Bob; can you please tell me what it feels like to watch that packet arrive knowing that the last 18 years payed off and that your son is accepted to Michigan?
Son at 19: No man, you don't even understand. I never wanted to go to Michigan; I've been a state man my whole life. You see Michigan kids don't live their life. While they're studying I'm here taking a piss on Sigma Chi's dumpster drinking a beer and living my life. Ya the cops here aren't as cool so i have to hide my beer, and ya the beer isn't free; but the grinding on random girls here is so much better than the grinding at Ann Arbor.
Son at 26: I know I'm going to graduate next year. Besides I can't leave until I lose my virginity. Plus I want our football and basketball to be number one again. Who knew Michigan would get good so fast. Its not as if sports teams get better and worse randomly all the time--oh wait they do.
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A College in the middle of bum fuck nowhere
Emory & Henry University? To get there you gotta get out of your car and go on horse
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The University of South Florida (USF) is quite unique. While it prides itself for its exceptional academic programs and medical research facilities, it also is notorious for accepting just about every 18 year old in the state of Florida who got below 1000 on their SATs. Somehow, these students manage to graduate though, even with the distractions of nearby white sand beaches, Gasparilla (an event that takes up the month of Febuary which can be summed up by public intoxication and the performance of sexual favors), and Ybor city (a strip of clubs that the USF students control). USF has a growing football program with the Bull as the mascot. Although the football players are dedicated and got to attend there first bowl game, half of the football players must hold jobs during off season to pay child support.
Nothing compares, The University of South Florida is founded upon the principles of educating geniuses and retards in one classroom. Throw in a few Mardi Gras beads, mass quantities of alcohol, and a bikini and you have the perfect picture of USF.
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