buy one vend one free

When a person goes to a vending machine intending to buy an item and that item is barely hanging on to the barricade that prevents it from falling. The person then buys the item and two items fall from the same row.

Dude, I went to go buy some sour patch kids and the idiot before me only had a dollar and his sour patch kids got stuck. I got to buy one vend one free.

16👍 4👎

Get Out of Virginity Free Card

A person who has expressed a liking for you, and who you could (If you are a Virgin) shag if you wanted to, but you feel that:
a) You could do better than that person
b) Don't particularly trust them to take your virginity
c) They're a slut/whore/slag

Dave: "Hey, Mike, How'd things go with you and Katie go last night? I saw you walking upstairs with her..."
Mike: "Haha, not much, dude. We talked for ages but I think she's gonna be my "Get out of virginity free card" for a while"

20👍 7👎

Get out of jail free card

Usually used in two situations, A being used when someone avoids a conflict by doing nothing, B being when someone does something bad and gets away Whit it with 0 consequences

Carlos: Hey man did you hear about Abraham?!
Mike:Wut
Carlos: Yeah man he murmured Jenny and the police never caught him!
Mike: Wow that fucker got a Get out of jail free card!
Carlos: Yeah fuck that guy!

you wastin; my free txts

when someone sends a short word txt to you even though u have free txt

sent: im sorry i cnt go out 2day i have 2 work

recieved: o

sent: ugh you wastin; my free txts wit that shit

8👍 2👎

Free Your Mind(At Night)

To Get High off Weed Basically sometimes at night

Kid Cudi Say's a variation of The Stoner "Free Your Mind(At Night)"

Ohh Yeah That Song Is About Stoners

3👍 10👎

“The truth shall set you free”

Actually, this saying is ITSELF one of the LEAST “true” statements of all time… as we are all too painfully aware, “coming clean” to the powers-that-be (i.e., parents, teachers, policemen, etc.) seldom if ever actually gains or maintains your “freedom”; in fact, usually the **exact opposite** occurs whenever you bravely/penitently reveal your shameful secrets like this --- rather than their extending any significant “charity” (i.e., mercy or forgiveness) to you in response to your trustingly/naively-admitted revelations of past transgressions, these hypocritical and out-of-touch-with-reality sadists generally do everything they can to CURTAIL your freedom and otherwise make you as miserable as possible, such as giving you an extended time-out, grounding you for an outrageously-long period, making you stay in from recess, throwing you in the slammer for a few days, and so on. So unless there is some serious injustice that your silence is maintaining (such as that an innocent person is being blamed/punished for something that you did), it’s usually wise to follow Will Roger’s advice to “never pass up a good chance to shut up”… contrary to what these authority-figures may try to assure you, they generally do **not** “have your best interests at heart”… about all they actually wanna do is try to soothe their **own** perpetually-gnawing consciences by being overly hard on anyone under their care!

My conscience was pricking me after hearing the local minister preaching about “the truth shall set you free”, and so like the total dumba** that I am, I went to the police station and admitted to the desk-sergeant about my having swiped a few candy-bars and a couple bottles of soda from the local Circle-K over the past six months; rather than just smiling and praising me for “being a good boy” to be so honest, though, the officer merely slapped da cuffs on me and made me cool my heels in jail for 48 hours! Talk about a letdown --- he didn’t even seem to care about my protests that he was blatantly going against what the preacher had just said was supposed to happen when we admit our sins! I think I’ll sue that minister for misrepresentation and deceitful speech --- I shoulda merely kept my big mouth shut, just as I always have in the past regarding stuff like this! And then he wonders why he has such a hard time gaining or keeping church-members!

9👍 2👎

olly olly cocks been free

a loud oration that is typically stated upon freeing ones cock from the fabric that contains it

While sitting at work, I yelled - olly olly cocks been free - from my cubicle....that - in turn - drew the attention of multiple co-workers, and, upon seeing their faces I shook my flacid fuck stick for all to see.....oh happy days!

10👍 4👎