Acoustic turtle

A term used to describe someone who is acting acoustic or just plain fucking stupid.

Person 1: “Ignorance is a side effect of anger”
Person 2: “I’m not ignoring u”
Person 1: “You’re such an acoustic turtle”

Texas Turtles

Another name for bed bugs.

Don’t you know that hotel is prime territory of Texas Turtles?

helpless turtle

When your girl decides to be dominant as fuck and she sits on you while you're on your back so you can't get up

Bro I got fucking helpless turtled last night

Turtle-dipping

Where you rub your dick in turtle food and let a turtle eat it off of the penis

"Dude, You should try turtle-dipping sometimes"

poking turtle

when your poop pulsates in and out of your ass hole.

"hey Fredrico, you good?"
"yea man, just got a poking turtle."
"oh, damn. cool."

doom turtle

A tank made in ww2 that was a super heavy and looks like a turtle t95

Ah shit I can't pen that Doom turtle

Tell a Turtle Time

Tell a Turtle Time is when you’re gathering with people and sharing about your day or sharing something with someone.

Herman called Jennifer up and asked her if they could get together soon for “Tell a Turtle Time”.