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*Notable* French-only military victories include:
1) The 100 Years War
2) That's it.
The Crimean War doesn't count. Although the French played an important war, the primary players were the British and the Russians.
William the Conqueror of Normandy (William the Bastard as he was then known) was most likely of Celtic or Viking descent, not actually a Frenchman.
Napoleon was actually bad for France, it was worse off after he was finished with it than it had been. At least it was somewhat respectable before. (Although the French people were better off under the psychopath Napoleon than under the incompetent French royalty)
Indo-china...That was as pointless as the American attempt later on.
And Kung-fu Jesus, losing 50,000 troops over fourteen years is better, not worse, than losing 90,000 in less time.
France sucks. Get over it, France.
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The nastiest, most fucked up place in the universe... all the rooms in my barracks had had a roach problem. Kids get in fights everyday. Drugs run rampant through the campus including coke, Xanax, painkillers etc... 7 students known as the chain of command run each company of 50 other cadets! the whole experience was similar to the “Stanford prison experiment” my first week a kid got hit in the face with a 8 ball during a fight! 5 younger student were raped throughout my stay there and nothing happened... there are tons of lawsuits online against this school. THIS PLACE IS FUCKED UP! NEVER SEND YOUR CHILD HERE!
Jake- have you seen brad? I haven’t seen him all year!
Anthony- you didn’t hear?! Brad got sent to Camden military academy and no ones heard from him sense...
Jake- HOLY SHIT! I’ve heard of this place before! My cousin went there and got sodomized! He’s still fucked up today...
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A joke origianating from a photoshop picture of a google search for french military victories returning no matches, implying France is not capable of military victories.
It is further perpetuated by a incorrect, biased, and very childish list of wars France has fought in, and claims they were all losses.
Crimean war: France were the first into sevastopol, and Russia surrendered to Paris.
American war of Independance: Cornwallis surrendered his sword to Rochambeau, who politely declined.
Hundred years war: England's early gained ground was taken back in an equal amount of time for it to be taken, and the land that England rightly owned was also taken by 1556.
1066: Superior tactics see France conquer England, and later wales under the Normans and Plantagenets.
Napoleon: Napoleon was indeed French born (not on the mainland though) and domiciled, although his parents were Italian. Accomplished more than Hitler in terms of European domination.
Indo-China: France re-establishes control in a few months, although kills millions of rebels. the United States tres the same and ends up hitting jack shit for fourteen years while seeing 50,000 soldiers die fromt he united states alone (ignoring other countries0. France's army, which was actually a coalition of other nations led by france loses 90,000.
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Such a thing has never happens, and never will. France may be beutifull but the french people are a bunch of pussies.
The french planted treats on the great avenues of the city of paris so the invading armies marched in the shade
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1. Mythological event who's existance in modern thinking is correctly ridiculed by those that maintain a belief in the existance of same.
2. Send in the Americans
3. The French Foreign Legion is only as good as it's worst German trooper.
In order to insure a French Military Victory, send in the Americans.
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Something which never happens while an army is comprised of a French majority and led by a Frenchman
Napoleon, Joan of Arc, William, The French Foreign Legion, American generals: None of these are Frenchmen
Charlemagne, Martel, Guye: None of these men commanded armies made up of over 40% Frenchmen
These do not count as French Military Victories
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The French version of Martin Luther King Jr.'s, "I Have a Dream," speech.
Please refer to French Military Defeats for further clarification.
French military victories are impossible with a country full of cheese-eating, snail-breathed, no-hygiene, surrender-monkeys.
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