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Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris can devide by 0.

The boogey man checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris sleeps with a night lite. Not because he is afraid of the dark, but because the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Only problem is, he's never cried.

Whenever Chuck Norris smiles, a dying person is saved. Unfortunatly, Chuck Norris only smiles when he's killed someone.

The Chuck Norris action figure has slept with more women then most men.

When Chuck Norris was 13, he slept with every nun at the local monestary. Nine months later, the 1977 Miami Dolphins were born - the only undefeated team in NFL history.

Chuck Norris once slept with another man. Not because he was gay, but because he ran out of women to sleep with.

Chuck Norris and God are playing chess. Who wins? Ha, trick question. Chuck Norris is God!

Chuck Norris once built a time machine to go back into time and save JFK from dying. Chuck Norris dove in and stopped all three of Oswald's shots with his beard. JFK was so amazed his head exploded.

Chuck Norris was once told by a man that the roundhouse kick was not as effective as a roundhouse punch. Chuck Norris immediatly kill the man with a roundhouse kick.

When entering the White House, Chuck Norris merley has to say "Chuck Norris" to be waved past the Secret Service.

In grade school, Chuck once had to write an essay on who the most powerful and influential person in the world was. He wrote the words "Chuck Norris" and received an A+.

"What's your name, hansome?"
"Chuck Norris."
"Oh God, screw me!"
"I already have."

"Chuck Norris just killed Kenny with a roundhouse kick!"
"That bastard!"
"Jesus, Chuck Norris just killed Cartman with a roundhouse kick!"

by LowDownJack February 7, 2006

237๐Ÿ‘ 307๐Ÿ‘Ž


Chuck Norris

A man that needs no definition.

Chuck Norris once delivered pizzas in his youth. There were no survivors.

by WPH15 August 25, 2009

118๐Ÿ‘ 174๐Ÿ‘Ž


Chuck Norris

Something so powerful that when you spell it in Scrabble, you win. Forever. Also, your head will explode from sheer overload of awesomeness.

Hey dude, did you hear about Chuck Norris? -boom-

Hahaha I spelled 'Chuck Norris'! I win. -boom-

by 1337P3d0b34r February 4, 2009

122๐Ÿ‘ 181๐Ÿ‘Ž


Chuck Norris

Jesus' more powerful, ginger brother.

"Jesus give me back my x-box, or I'll roundhouse kick your ass back into Jerusalem."-Chuck Norris

by Juicalicious April 25, 2010

25๐Ÿ‘ 32๐Ÿ‘Ž


Chuck Norris

(1)Someone who is amazing at a very unique talent. Particularly round house kicking, detective work, karate, being awesome, and killing ninjas.

(2)Someone who can deliver the pleasure of two hours of sex to somebody in 3.5 seconds.

Highwaychild17: You're the biggest Chuck Norris I've ever seen.

Chuck Norris: ...

by Highway Child January 10, 2009

94๐Ÿ‘ 153๐Ÿ‘Ž


Chuck Norris

The man Chuck Norris, he can clear an entire forest with just his hand. Chuck Norris once decided to sell his pee on the internet, we now have Redbull. Chuck Norris doesn't read books he just intimidates them for knowledge.

Chuck Norris can break bedrock just by looking at it.

by You're a clown. January 10, 2023


Chuck Norris

Literally the most powerful being on earth. He defeated Shaggy using a spoon and a dried up piece of grass.

Chuck Norris built the hospital he was born in

by Not Kyle April 5, 2019