we need to talk

1) The most pointless phrase in the English language because you are already talking when you say this.
2) Means: You're screwed.
3) Signals the beginning of the end of a relationship.
4) Your wife/girlfriend wants to bitch about something. The perfect time to fake a heart attack.

1) A: We need to talk
B: We already are, dumbass.
2) A: We need to talk
B: Ahh shit.
3) A: We need to talk
B: *packs bags*
4) A: We neeed to talk
B: *falls to the ground clutching heart*

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I need healing

Something Genji mains love saying for whatever strange reason. Sometime they’ll say it when at 199/200 hp. Sometimes even when full health. RARELY when they really need healing. Most of the time though, it’s just to piss people off.

Genji-I NEED HEALING
Mercy-Genji your at full health
Genji-I NEED HEALING I NEED HEALING I NEED HEALING

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All I need

A phrase that can be used when leaving a room or situation with an object in hand. The person states what they are leaving with saying that it is all they need. It is made funnier by grabbing another item and saying that this plus what the person already has in all they need.
Make popular in the 80's with Steve Martin in the Jerk

"I dont anything. Well maybe just this ashtray but thats all i need. And this paddle game. The Ashtry, the paddle game and this remote control. The ashtray the paddle game and the remote control is all i need."

needs more jpeg

A tern used on r/greentext to basically say "this image looks terrible". It summons a bot which turns the image into a JPEG and the more times it's replied to with 'needs more jpeg' the blockier it looks.

(Blocky picture above) needs more jpeg

needs more jiggawatts

A phrase from the film Back to the Future. It was used in the movie by the Doc to voice concern that something needs to be more powerful.

Today, we use the same phrase to explain that things need to be more powerful or better.

Jon: Dude, my MP3 player can't hold anymore songs. It's only 256MB.

Mike: Needs more jiggawatts.

____

Sam: This computer is too slow.

Judy: Needs more jiggawatts.

____

Mary: I bought a used Geo Metro. Needs more jiggawatts.

Beth: Hells yea.

____

Sam: How do you like these wings? I made them extra spicy.

Tony: Needs more jiggawatts!

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I need to be held

Term used to describe how a lot of us feel when confronted with the joys of daily life.

Time to go to work - I need to be held

I have a cold - I need to be held

My house fell over - I really need to be held.

I need to be held is also a very effective way of hurting someone (if you are that way inclined (Refer: Bogan or Succubus):
"I need to be held, but not by you"
Trust me, it doesnt feel good

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we need to talk

womens secret code for : haha sonny, you're fucked.

honey, about our relationship, we gotta talk.

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