Jesus was Palestinian

A nativizing settler-colonial narrative used by descendants of Arab colonists to falsely claim a Jew as Arab. Just as wrong, and offensive, as saying Montezuma was Spanish.

"Jesus was Palestinian"
"Wow, so that's why he was called King of the Palestinians"

103👍 357👎

jesus radical

Someone who wants to make sweet love to jesus because he has muscular theighs that could crush a walnut!! Or someone who thinks Jesus is the goods.

Maranda: Wow olivia, I'm wearing my super hot Jesus Sandles!!!
Olivia: Well of course you are, you're a Jesus Radical.
Maranda: HELL YEAH

Pete: Wow, i want to make sweet love to that jesus radical over there.

Bob: Yeah...I'm a fuckin' jesus radical

3👍 8👎

Jesus hole

Due to the Christian restriction on extra-marital sex, the Jesus hole is a synonym for a vagina.

Guy: I'm gonna fuck your Jesus hole real good.
Girl: No way, we're not married, put it in my pooper instead.

3👍 7👎

Zombie Jesus

Someone whom believes himself to be a reincarnation of Jesus. He helps others while draining himself and is pretty much a martyr. He's also a pretty awesome person when you get to know him.

Dude! Help me out Zombie Jesus!

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Quicksand Jesus

Thank you, psycho bitch

I got my name from the Skid Row tune above

16👍 69👎

Touched by Jesus

Great sex or forced rape, used by the rapist or by the victim at the police station the next day.

1.Wow! I feel like i was touched by jesus
2.Come here love and be touched by jesus (Rape)
3.He said to me would i like to be touched by jesus, sob sob.

10👍 40👎

West Jesus

The opposite of "way the fuck out there",right the fuck here.

I live in West Jesus. (yes, it's sad, but these sentances are hard)

2👍 4👎