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he is the epitome of all male-dom. he radiates confidence in everything he does, whether it's ordering a drink, reading a children's book, driving a badass set of wheels, or dealing with women. he's slow to anger, brutally efficient when fighting back -and incredibly hawt.
this badass carves his own path. he wears, drives, drinks, watches, listens, loves, and lives whatever the hell way he chooses. things are done his way when he chooses, where he chooses -uninfluenced by fads or the mullet man. his badass style is understated but instantly recognizable. like his uber cool pink batmobile or his pwnsome pair of sunglasses.
Straight Cougar is the definition of badass compressed into a single person.
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An older woman, typically early thirties to mid-forties, who has abandoned traditional rules of romantic engagement and taken as her mission the seduction of as many game young men as she can possibly handle.
"Some Urban Cougar with a boob job tried to buy me a drink last night."
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Function: noun
1 : the dark, leather-like quality of the chest/neck area of older woman who tan entirely too much
2 : the kind of tan you get when you accidentally get too much sun ONLY on your cleavage (as farmer tan is for arms-only tans)
Q: Hey sis, why is your chest so... uh... dark?
A: I was out working in the yard, but I had a long-sleeve v-neck on, so I ended up with a cougar tan.
(n.) a confident woman age 35-39 who is usually out of the club scene but like to go every once in a while just to turn up. She easily attracts men who are younger than she is because of her beauty, wisdom and drama-free lifestyle. She enjoys girl trips, dick deliveries, collecting vibrators, island baecations, getting dolled up for dinner dates, drinking wine at home, spa dates, cooking to old R&B, calm bars and lounges, and weekends having nasty sex and watching movies.
Girl 1: Did you see your mom dancing with that college boy last night?
Girl 2: Yes! He followed her around like a puppy dog all night!
Girl 1: She took him home! Girl, Yo mama is a baby cougar!
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The real cougars of CV (aka the cougs of Castro Valley, CA). Hold on to your young husband, this vicious pack of cougars of cougars will sniff out and devour the young, strong, and willing. With a carnivorous prowess they can smell young cock with in a 4 mile radius. Using young hot female cubs at bait, and without hesitation they will use the man for sustainable energy turning them only younger and more aggressive towards their innocent pray.
The only kryptonite known to be able to stop these wild cougs is to most known as "the beaver dam" aka their children.
Running off only alcohol, popcorn and Marlboro lights, these cougs can stay up until the early morning patiently tracking and stalking their pray. When cougs of different packs appear, trouble can be smelled from miles around. Never looking to fight for their food, the coug will generally show a passive aggressive behavior, resulting in the opposing coug to cower and walk away to hunt another day.
Never one to give up the CV coug is an impressive beast of mother nature.
the famous sayings surrounding these amazing specimens are true and young men should beware. It's not safe out there.
"mama dont let your babies grow up to be coug prey"
And
"the coug ate my baby (only said in an Australian accent)
"Those CV cougars at Krayons were bad news last night mannn, I tell you what, there was popcorn everywhere and the smell of Marlboro lights in the air, I should have known we were being stalked. And i can't find Dan, where the fuck is Dan? All we found was one of his shoes, a trail of popcorn and a little blood. I think we were CV coug'd lat night boys. "
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A young woman (aged from 18-22) who is genuinely/solely into older men (30 and on).
Guy 1: Why don't you try your luck with her?
Guy 2: I hear she's a reverse cougar and I'm in her age group.
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A gentleman of any age who preys on cougars. This gentleman is very knowledgeable in the ways of the cougar and is an expert at looking like prey while actually being the predator. He often uses this insight to work the cougar while working other ladies or multiple packs of cougars at the same time. This is usually accomplished though intermittent flirting throughout the evening. The cougar hawk is not to be confused with a guy wearing mirrored shades and a Hustler jacket hitting on everything in the room.
The cougar hawk is a gentleman first. A master of etiquette. He will never cock block one of his party for his own gains. He knows cougars hunt in packs when you see one there are many. The best cougar hawks approach a bar like a puzzle or riddle. The size up all prospective action upon entering and allot enough time to each candidate to maximize his efficiency. A cougar hawk is an asset in any band of merry men.
“Careful bud or that cougar is going to maul you.” Don’t you worry boys, I am a wise man when is comes to the ways of the cougar. In 12 hours she will be making me breakfast. Do you all want breakfast? I can have her call some friends?”
“Hey man I don’t know if things are going to work out with these chicks. She just figured out she knows me but cant remember I used to date her sister”. “That’s ok man I’ve been been making eyes at these ladies at the end of the bar and Jay is on his way. Jay is a real cougar hawk I’ve seen him line up three groups of chicks and take two of them with him.
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