I have to see a man about a sandwich

A phrase often muttered when Subway or fast food burger joints become the better alternative for a previously planned meal.

After contemplating his hot buttered bugar hamster sandwich glued together and spray painted black, the guy threw it away saying "I have to see a man about a sandwich".

Have sex with me

Something that women say when they don’t want to have sex with you.

Guy: hey! I think you’re really cute and was wondering if you’d like to get a coffee sometime? Also I have over 5,000 hours in award winning video game the Elder scrolls V Skyrim special addition and I know the entire lore.

Girl: have sex with me.

Guy: Oh ok, I’m sorry you feel that way but I respect your boundaries. Goodbye.

5👍 5👎

having relations

The act of masturbating. Can be used to insult someone or embarrass them.

inmate: "Yo I seen you had a piece toilet paper over your window. You was having relations?"

inmate2: "Na man i was shittin."

1👍 14👎

having a gasbag

Aussie slang: to hold a conversation with someone

I was having a gasbag with Sheila at the servo and we couldn't believe the price of petrol!

Have you ever tried the bourbon?

A phrase that is said by Buffalo Wild Wings employees when you ask for the "Bourbon Honey Mustard" sauce on your wings, afterwards declaring it to be the worst sauce.

You: "Can I get large traditional with Bourbon Honey Mustard?"
Waiter: "Have you ever tried the Bourbon?"

comments on this post have been limited

This phrase indicates a “woke” instagram account with zero basis in reality. Their post likely lack any factual or logical basis and therefore can’t stand up to any outside criticism or commentary. The phrase is used to reassure viewers that their echo chamber is safe from *trigger warning* outside penetration.

My fish Josh identifies as a guppy. Doctors assigned him shark at birth, but he has had numerous experimental surgeries to affirm his identity as a guppy. We’ve had issues with other fishes swimming into Josh’s stomach and sometimes people get micro aggressive about it - therefore Josh has decided up protect fishself and Comments on this post have been limited.

I have drugs in my bag!

When you Dad goes on a trip to China and thinks it’s a good idea to tell every authority that he has drugs in his bag.

Airline customs official minding his own business: “Ni Hao.”
My dad: “I have drugs in my bag!”