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Random
The act of spitting a fluid into your partner's asshole.
"Do you want to try out these new waterproof sheets?" "Sure, only if we play bidet tonight." "What's bidet?" "My face is the bidet and this drink is the fluid" (holds up 44oz Mt. Dew from 7-11)
When you smear peanut butter on your chocolate starfish after pinching a loaf to entice a dog to lick it off, thus cleaning your ass.
I usually prefer the canine bidet to a regular one, but I ran out of skippy.
A sexual act in which one person lies on the bed with a mouthful of water while the partner places their anus on top of the mouth. The partner on the bed then squirts water up at the anus, cleaning it and providing maximum pleasure
"my anus was pretty dirty the other day, so I got Stacy to bidet me, it was glorious"
The art of washing ones rectum with the shower head after dropping the kids off at the pool.1
There was no toilet paper left in the shop so I've had to resort to using the Scotch Bidet
Bidet tears: when someone's tears are so pathetic you want to wipe your ass with them.
I wish my ex would stop trying to guilt me into a mercy fuck with his bidet tears.
When you take a dump and your friend pees down your asscrack to clean it
Hey I ran out of toilet paper, can you give me a buddy bidet
When you shit on the trail and your buddy squirts beer up your ass to clean in up.
I had no toilet paper on the trail and had to dump so buddy gave me a trail bidet.