go ugly early

The philosophical viewpoint which advocates the lowering of standards earlier in the process of courtship rather than later, believing it to be more efficient and ultimately more satisfying in the long run. While some see this as a disturbingly bleak prospect, proponents remind their detractors that "at least we're getting our jimmies waxed while you poor bastards are off beating your pud to Shirley Bassey records."

Trust me, dude, GO UGLY EARLY, or you'll die alone with your pants around your ankles, clutching your shriveled penis in your cold, dead hand with a look of stark terror on your face, frozen in time from the moment that the gray void invades your soul and stops your spitting heart.

70👍 31👎

Early 2020s kid

These kids will remember this like Play Station 5, COVID-19, Zoom App, and Joe Biden.

Chris is an early 2020s kid. He was born in 2012, so he was 8 when the 2020s started. He remembers stuff like PS5, Covid-19, the Zoom App, and Joe Biden.

12👍 2👎

Arizona early bird

When diligently performing oral sex on a limp penis until frustration, resembling a hungry bird trying to pull a stubborn worm out of the ground.

"If you don't take your VIAGRA, I will look like an arizona early bird!" She complained.

early morning shit

A shit that you have to take less than 15 mins after arriving to work. Alot of times it can get you in trouble with the boss because they have no idea where the hell you are.

Barbara: Have you seen Jenny this morning?
Jay: No I haven't. Have you checked the bathroom yet? She could be taking an early morning shit.
Barbara: God damnit!

Wilkes Early College

This school is full of a bunch of teenagers who either try too hard or know how to cheat. Most of us were accepted by pure luck. A lot is expected out of us so we’re here basically killing ourselves just trying to pass. Everyone thinks we’re smart while we’re really not. We’re all sad and struggling. This may or may not be a call for help.

Someone: Wow you go to Wilkes Early College? You’re probably SOO smart!

6👍 1👎

early bird special

The act of waking up a guy early in the morning by going down on him--preferably involves tugging on the penis with the mouth, as in "the early bird gets the worm."

Girl, my man never had it so good. Just this morning I early bird special-ed him before the alarm went off!!

73👍 38👎

Early morning tea

The sweat left on someone's face from your scrotum after you teabag them.

Rucker: Would you like to join me for some early morning tea?
Courtney: What's that?

18👍 7👎