family values

An abstract concept that is often made reference to by fundementalist fuckmuppets as a way to condemn working mothers, gay people, single parents, sex education, and anything else that wasn't on "Leave In To Beaver".

513👍 128👎

family apathy

Lack of interest in or concern about family members/matters.

Usually a temporary state of mind following prolonged or strained contact with them (e.g. Christmas, holidays).

Put simply, you can't be arsed to contact, visit or spend any time with them - they do your head in.

Bf: You gonna call your 'rents? You've not spoken to them in a while...
Me: Nah, since Xmas I'm suffering family apathy.

20👍 2👎

Feed The Family

Putting in work on the basketball court to earn money that you can use to purchase food for your family, thus feeding them

"Alex Owens is really good at feeding the family"
"Shoutout to FTF man, feed the family man, that's 1000 man"
"Doe, Antonio Blakeney straight dropped 50 on dem fools, but still, Alex Owens is the one feeding the family"

23👍 3👎

this is a family show... or is it

the term coined by hazza at a one direction concert when asked to take off his shirt

in 2020 we have the fine line vinyl cover where it is defiantly not a family show

FANS- take your shirt off

HARRY- you need to calm down this is a family show... or is it ???

21👍 2👎

Howards Family

An exclusive men’s only club that existed in the 18th and early 19 century. Its members consisted of the upper class and high society of their time. A well dressed man that excelled in the arts of courtship, dueling, haberdashing.

I was going to punch out that guy for staring at my wife but I realized that he was part of Howards Family and I lost my nerve.

41👍 6👎

Family Reunion

The awkward get together your parents make you go to where you stand around for hours with random relatives, some of which you either despise or don't actually know.

They come up to you and shout random things and kiss your cheeks.

Mom- You have to go to the family reunion! You have no choice!

(Later...)

Aunt Sally- My! You've grown! You look just like your Uncle Rufus!
Kid- Oh thanks!
Then, to him/herself: ...Rufus is the ugliest fuck I've ever met...

106👍 21👎

family whipped

A case where an independent adult (usually early 20's) is still under the command of their family's every request. Like "pussy whipped", they will often ditch their friends to help their family complete the most trivial tasks.

Cam: Hey Steve, are you still coming out tonight for drinks with me and Rick? Apparently lots of fine ladies are coming!
Steve: Shit, I cant man, My dad wants me to help him move some wood out of the garage
Rick: Man that guy is family whipped

Amy: Hey steve, my parents are out for the night, wanna come over ;)
Steve: i'll have to pass, I need to give my mum a foot massage

14👍 1👎