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Purgatory. A place that sucks so bad, you're stuck in between life and hell.
(Night time) Driving into Texas City, Texas. Is that a skyline of tall beautiful building lights covering the seashore? No. It's fucking miles and miles of oil refineries and fertilizer plants.
Living in a constant state of purgatory, with no clean smelling air and a constant threat of a hydrochloric chemical leak again. Its ok though, it will buy another football stadium or maybe a grocery store that doesn't smell like cat piss.
Am I in hell? No you're in Texas City, a place that's close to hell. But not really because there's a Starbucks.
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Texas is the biggest and baddest state of them all.
Yes we say ya'll but we don't all have cowboy hats and ride horses around. You fuck with us and your getting your ass kicked.
We've got hot chicks, south padre island, austin!!!, and plenty of beach. The coolest people you'll meet, plus we've got some authentic ass good mexican food.
Plus Houston pumps out some of the best rappers and chopped and screwed cd's. =)
We're diverse and let just about anyone in our state, plus we don't have those stuck up yanks to deal with down here.
Yankee: Oh your from Texas? Say ya'll for me!!
Texan: Well hey there how ya'll doin? Keep talking shit and we'll fuck you up.
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Cowboy up
its get tough or mosey on out
Giddyup
Keep up or head for the trails
Hold your horses
or get beat up
Well Texas is the lone star state. It doesnt need anyone else especially no Oklahoma. And for any of yall that are mistaken for George Dubya, he is a damn yankee. Even though he may make mistakes and resided in Texas this is America and we should all still support him. Any true Texan would agree, ah hail what am i sayin hes a damn yankee. lynch him.
The south will rise again
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Texas: Texas is better known as the Aids capitol of the United States. A recent 2005 survey of homosexuals residing in Austin ( 98.9 percent of males ) admitted to having AIDS or really really wanting to get it from rough anal sex.
Texas is also home to one of the largest populations of child molesters and pedophiles in the entire world. The 200 census estimated that out of every 100 people in the state of Texas, there were 73 pedophiles or child molesters.
Another fun fact about Texas is that KY brand personal lubricant was invented there. In 1984 Nolan Ryan after sodomizing and performing anal intercourse on his goat grew tired of it always being so uncomfortable, so he spit into an old toothpaste tube and it evolved from there.
texas is also a place where the people think 50 degrees is cold, county roads are black top, Galveston is a good place to visit, and "Big Tex" is straight. All of these are common misconseptions.
Hey let's go to Texas today. I really wanna make love to a baby while kissing my uncle who is milking his goat William.
Remember that time I got butt raped by the mayor of Dallas Texas? How is that an appropriate punishment for a speeding ticket?
Wow! The whole state of Texas is like one big abortion.
Howcome Wichita Falls Texas is so dirty and gross? Oh wait it is in Texas.
Let's go to Lubbock Texas and watch that caped and masked child rapist ride his horse. Oh better yet, let's go to college station and watch those ass hole that couldn't get into West Point march around before they molest that dog of theirs.
Child: Mom, how come so many people in Texas have AIDS?
Mother: Sweetie, God hates them, and remember, they are not people in God's eyes.
Wow, I'm so glad I live in Oklahoma. If I'd stayed in Texas one second longer I am certain I would have been molested and would also have contracted AIDS.
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The most ignorant state in the entire country...full of hard-headed fucktards who think their pathetic state is the best thing since sliced bread...Yeah, no one gives a shit that you all were once your own republic (your state sucked back then too)...so please, by all means, if you all think you can do better alone, then do us all a favor and secede to become your own country again and see how long you all last you dumbasses...
Texas is also the only state to ever lose to the Mexican army...TWICE. And no, there were no heroes at the Alamo no matter what your ignorant 5th grade teacher or Hollywood told you...they were all killed in their sleep (may they rest in peace)...And if you don't believe it, look in a real unbiased history book...
Half the state is a barren wasteland that should be used to test nuclear bombs and the other half is full of uneducated hicks with an unhealthy amount of pride about NOTHING (really, how is Texas better?...that's right, it's not, it's just another state)... And not just regular hicks, but FAT hicks- five Texas cities cracked the "10 Fattest Cities in America" according to Men's Fitness.
Texas couldn't even come up with an original flag (they stole it from Chile). Face it, the US would be better off without this ignorant state and the ignorant, self-absorbed bastards that live there...
So in short, Texas...you are a big bag of gay...
An intelligent man once said..."There are only two things that come from Texas: steers and queers." And none of you all look like cattle to me (except those fat hicks in the back over there)...Texas, do us all a favor: Shut up about your faggot state, it's not that great.
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A state that is filled with obese people, which is where the phrase "everything's bigger in Texas" came from.
Guy 1: Dude, everything's bigger in Texas...
Guy 2: More like everyONE's bigger in Texas!!
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Texas Is in fact not real. People who say they have been to Texas were not lying they just had memories made by the Russian government. Russia did this to cover up their past mistake they gave USA a state named FITOA. If everyone knew this they would drive to Texas but halfway in they would get teleported to a Russian PRISON.
I have been to Texas
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