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A term of extreme surprise that should be used sparingly, lest its impact lessen.
Did you see that really surprising thing? look over there..
Jesus tittyfucking christ! I wouldn't have seen that had you not pointed it out, thank you kind sir
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It is essentially Raptor Jesus with a mounted helmet laser.
Did you see that!?
See what?
Raptor Laser Jesus!
You mean Raptor Jesus?
*FaicPalm*
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An exclamation used when you have nothing better to say.
Jesus le penis, my pencil just broke
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Owns the taco stand down the street. He would like people to stop asking him to cure their blindness. Even though his named is spelled the same as Jesus Son of God it pronounced hay-zoos. His middle inital is Hector. His father owns a garage and his mother is a nurse. He has two younger brothers.
jesus h christ make the best tacos, but he still wont cure my blindness
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(1) A really bad turn of events. In addition to the established 'Fuck me' which denotes a bad turn of events, 'Fuck me Jesus' emphasizes a greater deal of anguish and bad luck, some would say on a biblical level. The beginnings of a holy shitfest.
(2) A girl making love to someone named Jesús (Spanish) and can't get over the fact that his name in English is Jesus.
Dude 1: "Hey, are we OK with the math exam? Does someone know we had a copy beforehand?"
Dude 2: "You are fucking kidding me, right?! Didn't you hear they caught us on the security cameras sneaking into the teacher's room."
Dude 1: "Oh! Damn! Fuck me Jesus!"
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When someone in your squad is cutting the fool, or says something perverted as fuck that makes you laugh.
"Lord, that punannie was so tight, I thought she was underage!"
"You know you need Jesus, right?"
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An amazing Green Day song off their 2009 album 21st Century Breakdown. This song is about fundamentalist religion. Lead vocalist for Green Day, Billie Joe Armstrong, wrote this song after attending a baptism for a friend's baby. Green Day performed this song on the season 34 finale of Saturday Night Live. Will Ferrell, who hosted, accompanied them on cow bell. This did not air, but can be found on Youtube.
A fire burns today
Of blasphemy and Genocide
The sirens of decay
Will infiltrate the faith fanatics
Some of the lyrics to East Jesus Nowhere
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