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when someone is so stupid they need jesus to help guide their ways
I had to tell this guy rahim yall need jesus because he was so stupid
46👍 18👎
A wonderfully profane thing to yell when you are extremely angry, with an emphasis on the final word (as demonstrated in the example below).
Jesus cunting CHRIST, Tim!! Did you really have to go drop that giant 127 lb. anvil on my foot??
50👍 20👎
1.One who partakes in the sacred act of anal sex with the son of god.
2.Your Mom
3.Mary Magdaline
4.My father (Who art in heaven)
5.Jerry from across the hall
Hey! Judas holy buttfucker of jesus, get back here with my ten dollars.
32👍 12👎
A command used when the driver of a vehicle requires the use of both his hands for a task other than steering i.e. sending a text, opening a beer, or rolling a joint. He yells “JESUS TAKE THE WHEEL!” while simultaneously removing his hands from it. It is then the immediate duty of the passenger to reach over , grab the wheel, and steer the vehicle until the driver has his hands free once again.
“Yeah thanks for asking John my weekend was pretty goo… JESUS TAKE THE WHEEL I GOTTA CRACK OPEN THIS BEER. FUCK”
15👍 3👎
Exclamation of equal parts disgust, disbelief, shock, and horrified concern for the speaker or situation referred to.
Guy #1: I didn't think Palin was so bad. Why didn't you women vote for her, anyway?
Girl #1: Sweet polevaulting Jesus, Caribou Barbie was the ultimate parody of a token! I don't know where the Gay Old Pedophiles find these incompetent candidates. She's tundra trash at it's worst, pimping out her office and family like she did.
Guy #1: OK, OK! Settle down!
12👍 3👎
the compromise for someone who doesn't believe in evolution; if the person who doesn't believe in evolution believes in evolution, the other kids who do must call dinosaurs jesus horses
tommy: stephen, if you start to believe in evolution, we will compromise; we will start calling dinosaurs jesus horses.
4👍 29👎
When you move two times faster than Mach Jesus.
when you move to fast to be seen.
He robbed the store at Mach Black Jesus speed i didn't even see him.
14👍 4👎