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The act of shitting on someone's laptop keyboard and then shutting the laptop on the shit.
"I was going to watch Markiplier on YouTube but Stefan and Bryce gave it an Illinois Hot Press."
Southeastern Illinois College in Harrisburg is rife with favoritism.
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When you tickle the tip of the the penis, put a whip inside and crack the whip whilst it is inside.
We got so freaky last night dude, we even pulled an Illinois Tickle Whipper, it hurt soooo good.
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A small-ass school that no one really cares about. People who go there are rich or in crippling debt. All the guys are either ugly or douchebags and all the girls are either ugly or frat rats. All of the student-athletes think they're the shit even though the school is D3. A wide range of intelligence is at Illinois Wesleyan: smart and poor people or rich and stupid people. Greek life is huge at Wesleyan. The sororities don't explicitly have beef with each other but every frat thinks they're top house (besides acacia who are we kidding). The most common phrase of frat boys at Wesleyan is "fuck (insert another frat here)". None of them have great reputations. People who aren't in Greek life or student-athletes are basically like adults who have gone back to college: focused on school work and think all other college students are fucking degenerates. If you go to Illinois Wesleyan you will complain about it 24/7 until you are forced to go home with your family and then you will remember that no adults/police on-campus give a fuck about what you do and you will miss it.
John: Hey I heard you go to some bullshit school called Illinois Wesleyan, what the fuck is that?
Sheila: Yeah you probably haven't heard about, but you can open carry alcohol, unlike at ISU where if you say vodka above whisper volume you'll get arrested.
John: Sweet let's party then
Sheila: okay looks like we're going to tke
Illinois Wesleyan University: the rich kid's shithole
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All of the ugliest guys in Illinois shoved into one school. If you find someone even decent looking within your 4 years here, consider yourself lucky. Or that you just have low standards.
“I literally have not seen one cute guy in any of my classes”
“Welcome to Illinois State University”
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A mediocre, Tier 3 Ranked University (U.S. News), that specializes in education. Originally founded as a "Normal" School, Illinois State (ISU) is a common choice for those not academically strong enough for prestigious University of Illinois or a better University. Illinois State is located within the towns of Bloomington and Normal Illinois. The area is a blue collar, depressed looking city which has an extremely high larceny risk (CLRSearch.com). Not only does the campus and surrounding neighborhood have a dim and melancholy feel, for the future of education within the state of Illinois is in great danger after massive budget cuts within the state legislature.
Hey John, I just received my acceptance letter from Illinois State University!
"Oh, what happened to UofI?"
"...yeeaaa, didn't get accepted..."
"sucks! you're going to be a poor poor man"
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A school often confused with the University of Chicago, an elite private university.
Like Penn State and UPenn, a wealthy and intelligent student body gets screwed over by the name of their college.
"So where did you go to school?"
"The University of Chicago."
"Sweet, me too! What fast food restaurant are you working at?"
"No, no, not the University of Illinois at Chicago. The University of Chicago. I got a degree in Economics there and now I'm making 120k a year on Wall Street."
"Oh. Would you like fries with that?"
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