Work Illusionist

Someone who give the illusion of doing work, but in reality does nothing. This trick can be preformed by; by attending meeting, especially meetings in other office buildings; volunteering for non-work activity such as organising work social events.

The work illusionist can fill this void by wandering around, going to movies or strip clubs.

Boss Hay where's insert slacker name , he said he was in a meeting with you ?

Office Worker Hang on, he said he was in a meeting with you.

Boss Look like we a have a work illusionist on the pay role

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Bean Work

It is a type of job, usually consisting of working with beans.

"What sort of work do you do?"
"Bean Work"

Work Mouth

A form of self-censorship practiced at work to avoid offensive or cuss words. Typically includes cuss-replacements you learned from your grandma. Potentially embarrassing if accidentally used outside of work at parties or in the company of your drunk friends.

May also be used in the company of grandparents, teachers, preachers, and others who disapprove of cussing.

Does not apply to all professions. Musicians and construction workers have no need for a work mouth.

At work:
-Did you just say fuck?
-Yeah, sorry. I forgot to use my work mouth.

At a party:
-Did you just say fiddlesticks?
-Yeah, sorry. I still have my work mouth on.

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head work

usually means oral sex,

Her body aint all that,but the head work was tight.hehe

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working hard or hardly working

similar to are we having fun yet?, a ridiculous and stupid phrase coined by would-be witty people who cannot be funny so they toss around catch phrases they hear.

working hard, or hardly working? ha!

you are an imbacil. we reserve the right to refuse service. we are exercising that right as of now. get the fuck out of my store.

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work rape

when someone you try to avoid at work catches you at your desk when you are not paying attention, thereby holding you there against your will while they spout their meaningless opinions about work goings-on

this can also occur in hallways/stairways/others' offices

this person does not necessarily have to be a coworker, work rapists may include: salespeople, delivery people, children of the owner

Valerie: "Where's Mike?"

Janet: "Oh, poor guy, Herbie is in today - caught Mike at his desk and is work raping him about some new scheme he has."

Valerie: "HR really needs to do something about our frequent work rape situations!"

work poop

Getting paid to drop off a load. Best shit ever

I took two work poops today at Sound World.

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