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Relationship Assistant

Someone you employ to help fill in the gaps that your main relationship is no longer meeting.

May be on a permanent or temporary basis, paid or unpaid.

Services can include companionship, advice or sexual favors.

Leon: "Dating Stacey is so hard. She's always away on business."
Fred: "Why don't you talk to Kylie? She's a professional relationship assistant."

by just like honey November 21, 2021


Farm-Assist

Hey Bro, this Kid at the Dispensary ....
Hash-tag Emerald Oz, She’s not a “BudTender” , She’s a FARM ASSIST!! Totally 💯 on recommending Buddha, Aye!

Hey Dude, Dis Kid at da Dizpensorry, sick Buddha Yo! Talk bout dat sticky Ickiest!!
She’s a Strate 🆙 “FARM-Assist!”
On the 💯! Knot 🪢 no bud-tender..

by CPO BOATS January 12, 2021


anal assist

when a guy is plowing a girl and his homie pulls up and goes in for the anal assist

don't worry dawg I got you with the ~anal assist~ (said in a cod voice similar to "insta kill")

by angstyjuul May 7, 2021


Goose Assist

When a goose fan unceremoniously shoves the dripfield album into your clenched asshole.

I got a Goose Assist in Philly last night and I’m not doing too well this morning.

by Bob Weir’s Clam Diggers March 24, 2022


Gravity Assist

1. Using a gravity of a planet to travel faster in space
2. A tactic to defecate your excrement out of your butt when it stucks inside your anus (which cause gas or any uneasiness to your excretory system/intestines). By leaning on the toilet bowl lid while sitting, your excrement inside your anus will rush down and come out of your rectum due to the Earth gravity.

Gravity Assist will help you defecate easily.

by Shiine-1 July 8, 2022


assist job

The Assist Job, known as an "assist" or an "AJ"; is conciliatory gesture performed by placing ones hand, or a finger at a minimum, on the hand, wrist, or forearm of another individual who is actively masturbating. It is performed by someone who feels they may owe a sexual favor to someone after receiving an expensive dinner or gift.

She definitely was not interested in him, but she gave him an Assist Job because she felt guilty about the theater tickets he bought.

by Mark and Suz March 18, 2017


Murphy's Law of Customer-Assistance

"You can stroll a store's aisles till Doomsday and never spot da item you want, but then, just as soon as you interrupt a staffperson to ask for help in locating said desirable, THAT'S when you will notice your sought-after item right off!"

While stocking up on food at a Super Walmart, I was looking for larger packages of Armour Vienna sausage so that I could save a few cents per can, but although I had thoroughly searched the surrounding areas on the shelves, I still hadn't found anything bigger than the small six-packs, so I finally asked a nearby employee if there were any of the larger packages in stock, possibly in the back room. Well, just as we were both walking back to the area of the aisle where I'd been looking, THAT'S when I finally spied the 12-packs that were sitting on the very top shelf! Guess that was a classic case of Murphy's Law of Customer-Assistance... ah, well, again, the 12-packs were indeed sitting very high up, so at least that was a plausible excuse for my not having seen them before, especially since the store usually doesn't even expect its customers to notice stuff that's placed 'way up there, anyway; that "lofty" location is merely where they store extra merchandise for replenishing the lower-down shelves when the stock there starts to run low.

by QuacksO May 15, 2019