puke handjob

also known as a ph. a puke handjob is when a woman chokes on your cock, throws up on it, and procedes to jack the guy off with the puke as lubricant. this only happens when your fucked up hopefully unless someone has a really sick fetish. puke handjobs are not enjoyable and are usually acidic in nature, which in turn burns the mans dick.

I was so fucked up last night, i let amber give me a puke handjob. my dick is still on fire.

11👍 9👎

jellyfish handjob

A move used by inexperienced teen girls. Instead of gripping the shaft like they should, the girl instead just uses the ends of her fingers on the tip, so that her hand looks similar to a swimming jellyfish.

My fifteen year old girlfriend just gave me a jellyfish handjob. I told her if she doesn't grip it next time, mr. backhand comes out

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mexican handjob

When a woman wraps your wang in a burrito or soft shell taco and procedes to jerk you insanely until you spooge into a crunchy chicken chalupa.

Ernesto: Yo, that whack bitch wouldn't give me a mexican handjob so I gave her a mexican avalanche.

Umberto: Fuck that shit homie, you still work at Taco Bell?

Ernesto: Nah bitch, I got fired for shooting my jizz load in the sour cream!

Umberto: Playa you trippin!

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Vermont Handjob

Your girl or boy covers their hand in maple syrup and then proceeds to give you a handjob.

My girlfriend gave me a vermont handjob saturday morning and then we ate pancakes

5👍 3👎

Bangkok Handjob

when after a ejaculating, a male realises that what he was pleasuring himself to was a transexual

lads, i was a bit drunk last night and gave myself a bangkok handjob

5👍 3👎

PR Handjob

Public relations hand job : the art of telling known falsehoods to the public for their consumption to prop up an undeserved positive impression.

Telling the public buying a certain stock is good when it isn't.. is is a PR handjob.

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Literary handjob

when one quotes a written item that claims something then quotes the same text to prove it's legitimacy

Atheist: prove that (insert your god here) exists

Theist: (Insert you god Here) exists because (insert respective religious text) says so

Atheist: you realize you just gave a literary handjob right?

5👍 3👎