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Jesus

He wasn't as famous as the Beatles.
He could walk on water, which could explain why He was a fisherman.
He was also a carpenter, but came to have a dislike for nails.
His mom was knocked up by God.
He made the cross popular, which is good because you need one to chase off vampires.
Last name is Christ.
Santa Claus invented a holiday about him, so that he could sell trees and sneak into peoples houses.

Tom: "Oh shit"!
Dick: "What the Fu....."
Harry: "Jesus Christ"!
Jesus: "Hey mister! Can I mow your lawn"?

by morningwould January 4, 2013

7๐Ÿ‘ 23๐Ÿ‘Ž


Jesus

A Jesus is an epic guy. If you come across a Jesus, keep him. He might be shy at first, but once you get to know him, he can be a really cool and outgoing guy. He is damaged from previous relationships. He is very hesitant, and doubtful. He might be hard to break. He has a lot of things going on that he might not wanna talk about. In time, you will crack his shell and find the real him. He is a great boyfriend, although he can make mistakes. He can be depressed, sad and lonely. Keep him forever.He can be fun and he is epic. Let him know that you care. That can be a matter of life or death for him.

Jesus might be shy, but he sure is awesome.

by Lexi_Love November 19, 2012

7๐Ÿ‘ 23๐Ÿ‘Ž


Jesus

1. - Jewish guy who lived over 1000 years ago. Found the religions of Christianity. Also known as Jeebus.
2. - Interjection, expressing shock, serious aggravation, grief or other extremely unpleasant emotion.
3. - Hispanic male name.

Man A - Jesus died for your sins.
Man B - wut.

Man A - My right hand got sawed off with a lawnmower.
Man B - Jesus!

Man A - Como estas usted, Jesus?

by Zand November 2, 2007

16๐Ÿ‘ 40๐Ÿ‘Ž


jesus

Someone who you can casually bring into conversations to cause bewilderment among your peers.

Someone who also seems to do things wrong.

Person 1: I'm going shopping, what do you need?
Person 2: Biscuits.
Person 1: We've still got some haven't we?
Person 2: Nah. Jesus ate them all.

Upon seeing the mess on the floor Person 3 exclaimed 'Jesus Christ!'

by Who d'ya think! June 18, 2007

76๐Ÿ‘ 148๐Ÿ‘Ž


Jesus

1.) Word used for showing people that they have done wrong.
2.) Also used for yelling at yourself for doing something wrong

1.)"Jesus kid look what you did now!"
2.) Jesus my wife is going to be pissed off to know that I fornicated the neighbors wife.

by justforthelulz February 9, 2009

17๐Ÿ‘ 36๐Ÿ‘Ž


Jesus

The Son of God. The saviour of my soul. the way the truth and the light. The person that loves us all. even the people on here that are saying how much they hate him. He is the only true way to live. He is the only perfect thing to ever walk this on this earth and died a criminals death just so we can have the freedom we have today.

Jesus is the only way to live. The only answer to your problem. You will fall and look for love in other places but Jesus is th only way.

by Tiffany D June 21, 2005

49๐Ÿ‘ 66๐Ÿ‘Ž


Jesus

Son of God, man above all men, Messiah of the world, Savior of all races, the Verb, God himself in form of man.

Many things can be used to identify Jesus. He was no fictional character as most of you might suggest, but he walked this very Earth, spreading the word of God and his teachings. He was the only perfect man to walk on Earth and never sinned. He was even tempted by the Devil himself, and did not say a sinful word. He did miracles, healed the sick, and freed demon-possessed men and women. Because of the sin in the world, he was sent by God himself to be born as a child, live in this Earth, die on the cross (worse death ever given to the crimianals of his time) and save all humans from the curse called sin. But he did not reamin dead. He rose from the dead in the third day. He is now seated at the right-hand of God and wants to free us all. He loves you, understands you, and died for you, you being a Jew or gentile. He will be coming back shortly, I do not know when, but surely shortly. He will take his people up with him when that time comes.

As much as he might seem fictional, he is real. You believing it or not, the truth will not change, and it never shall. I believe. What about you?

His own defintion of himself:

Jesus answered, "You are right in saying I am a king. In fact, for this reason I was born, and for this I came into the world, to testify to the truth. Everyone on the side of truth listens to me."

-John 18:37

by Allyn Deimos May 31, 2007

59๐Ÿ‘ 87๐Ÿ‘Ž