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The name by which we must now refer to the animal formerly known as the Mongoose.
Me: Look, son - that's called a mongoose.
Zoo Employee: Excuse me - but you can't say that.
Me: Huh?
Zoo Employee: It's a Special Needs Goose.
Me: For fuck's sake.
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The four words in a relationship nobody wants to hear.
He said, We need to talk and I thought Oh damn!
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The begining to the portal of oblivion in which the male will be forced into a comma like state due to prior knowledge of the "talk" portal. Commonly the male is subject to female complaining, bitching, whining, sometimes tears. If this happens the male tends to become either aggressive or resembles a deer in headlights. There is no real end to this portal and the male never quite know's the length in which he will be in it, but while inside he knows it's sheer hell. This is commonly the opening line to a demise of a relationship.
A. I've been thinking, and we need to talk...
B. (mind): Aw SHIT! (words): Okay honey
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An office phrase roughly translated to "I need a bailout or rescue." Something awful is happening to the person who has given you this message, and it's your responsibility to bail them out. Situations in which this phrase is appropriate:
- An office camper has left the original intended topic for some light-hearted small talk about his child you hate
- An office camper with horrid breath has pinned you
- You're in a meeting that's so boring you will have to snort coke off a stripper's chesticles to balance your life back in the right direction
The message generally arrives in the form of text or instant message. When the situation is dire, email may be used. The appropriate response is generally to come up with technical nonsense to ask this person then either call or visit to bail them out.
Office Camper: "Enough about linux, did you know my child is an honor's student? She's taking all AP classes in the Spring. God we're so proud of her ... "
Jim (Victim) text messages Vince (Savior) "I need a calculator" to avoid nosy eyes understanding this dire message.
Office Camper: "She even taught some of the other children in the class how to use it! Can you believe that? Even the teacher was impressed"
Savior: "Hey Jim! Listen I need some help with linux..."
Office Camper: "Oh well I can see you're busy"
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Female code for "This relationship is over"
Hunny, we need to talk...
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If these words come out of ANYONE'S mouth your pretty much fucked. Parents,naggy-ass wives, just nags. THINK FAST, or just run for your damn life, and pray to god he/she dont find you!
Mother: "we need to talk...."
Child: -thought 'aw fuck'
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The worst thing a man can hear from his woman. It undoubtedly signals the oncoming of a long drawn out conversation about how you don't have a vagina and how she doesn't understand that. Other features are senseless bitching about her ridiculous insecurities that defy logic and rationality.
Woman- "Are you busy? Because we need to talk"
Man- "FUCK!"...."I mean, sure honey."
"Dammit, now I have to pretend like I care for another bullshit conversation."
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