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Goldfish

The cheese-flavored snack that supposedly smiles back, but tends to vary in that regard. Some Goldfish are all smiles, but others appear to have no smile at all. Interesting.

The original is usually the best, and with Goldfish, that is no exception. The "flavor blasted" varieties are absolutely disgusting, and the person who thought that making pizza-flavored crackers shaped like fish was absolutely fucked in the head.

Goldfish are promoted by a band of anthropomorphic fish, which are thoroughly annoying, and somewhat detract from the enjoyment of the crackers. The leader of this band of fish is named "Finn" (Ha Ha), and is somehow able to wear sunglasses, despite having eyes on the side of his head, and having no nose. He is also joined by other fish, one of which is named "X-Treme". I can only assume that he was born in the 90's. X-Treme also represents the 'Flavor blasted" variety, which happens to be the exact reason why I despise X-Treme.

The crackers are produced by Pepperidge Farms, and sold internationally. They are quite good. In fact, I am eating some at this moment (the original flavor, duh).

Person- "you want some Goldfish?'
Me- "Hell yeas"
Person- (Pours Goldfish into my hands)
In unison- "The snack that smiles back!"

by Supreme_Sucks March 23, 2017


Sucka ass goldfish

You

You a sucka ass goldfish

by NBATEFLONBGMGRIZZY February 03, 2025


Goldfish poop

A really long poop that doesnt want to detach.

Oh man, I just took a huge goldfish poop. It was like half the length of my body and I had to shake my butt back and forth to get it to break loose.

by 1$Chuck March 08, 2023


goldfish memory

the worst memory possible. Goldfishes have 1-10 second memory loss

the dumbest student e v e r: hey did you study for the test tomorrow? I didn't I have goldfish memory.
An average student: dude its not a test AN EXAM
the dumbest student e v e r: wait what. we have exams this week

by lunamoona457 January 13, 2024


King of the Goldfish

A man who lives on the delicious snack crackers shaped like goldfish.

Logan is the King of the Goldfish based on the giant silver bag by his desk.

by Lordoftime25 September 28, 2022


King of the Goldfish

A man who lives off of tiny crackers in the shape of a goldfish.

Logan is the King of the Goldfish as you can tell by the empty silver bag & crumbs on his desk.

by Lordoftime25 September 28, 2022


that damn goldfish

That damn goldfish is a phrase used by parents across the globe to describe a goldfish that will not die like we are talking two year old never fed fish that manages to survive

Dad: hey is it dead yet
Kid: nope

Dad: gah lee that damn goldfish

by Pietro Django Miximoff July 08, 2017