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Steamed hams

Well, seymour, I made it, despite your directions.
Ah, superintendent Chalmers, welcome. I hope you're prepared for an unforgettable luncheon.
eh.
Oh lee gods! my roast is ruined. But what if.. I were to purchase fast food and disguise it as my own cooking? ho ho ho, delightfully devilish seymour.
SEYMOUR!
Oh, superintendent, I was just, uh stretching my calves on the windowsill. Isometric exercise, care to join me?
Why is there smoke coming out of your oven?
Oh, that isn't smoke, It's steam. Steam from the steamed clams we're having. Mmm. Steamed clams.

Superintendent, I hope you're ready for mouthwatering haamburgers.
I thought you said we're having steamed clams?
D'oh, no, I said steamed hams. That's what I call hamburgers.
You call hamburgers steamed hams?
Yes. It's a.. regional dialect.
From what region?
uhh... Upstate new york.
Really? Well I'm from utica, and I never heard anyone use the phrase steamed hams.
Oh not in utica, no, It's an albany expression.

I see.
You know, these hamburgers are quite similar to the ones they have at krusty burger.
Oh, no, Patented skinner burgers. Old family recipe.
For steamed hams
Yes.
And you call them steamed hams despite the fact that they are obviously grilled.
Ye-
You kno-
one thing I should..
Excuse me for one second.
Of course.
Well, that was wonderful, good time was had by all, I'm pooped.

Yes, I should be, GOOD LORD WHAT IS HAPPENING TH- to be continued

Steamed Hams Is the best art piece ever done.

by zoetbh July 8, 2018

172👍 13👎


ham head

A condition in which celebrities' faces widen with age such that they look like a honey baked ham.

Christos: Have you seen John Travolta and Kathleen Turner? Total ham head!

Chen: I know! What about Vince Vaughn and Jon Favreau? And don't forget about William Shatner... CLASSIC ham head.

by Chris.G July 22, 2010

519👍 50👎


Ham Slacks

Scrumptious slabs of thigh meat that bring throbbing erections to all who dare venture to the obese backyard buffet of a female

For Mother's Day, I got a framed picture of me bending over a picnic basket. The greeting on the picture said, "Happy Mother's Day ham slacks."

by Nipple Fritts December 25, 2012


ham sauced

To be completely hammered drunk.

Man, we got so ham sauced after all those Jager Bombs downtown we were so college.

by AMeyers November 19, 2007


Hamming Out

When the loser of an "All-In" online poker hand has a one word text outburst like "Fu$k", "River" or "Bye" as he is eliminated from the game.

Once Ham loses this All-In I'm looking forward to his Hamming Out message in dispair to those remaining at the table.

by WC_WEB July 8, 2020


Ham Spamming

The act of slapping someone on the face with ones penis

After 5 minutes of ham spamming she could take no more!

by The learned Aristotle November 20, 2008


ham newton

To indulge in an activity to the highest degree.

Mike Guzzi shouldn’t of smoked so much last night. He was really going ham Newton!

by Auto February 24, 2019