Dead Laptop Syndrome

The condition of having a laptop whose battery is continuously dead. Usually caused by laziness and neglecting to move the charger to the current workspace.

Dave: *Opens Laptop in Important Business Meeting* Excuse me folks, my laptop appears to be suffering from "Dead Laptop Syndrome" if you will excuse me while I go get the power cord.

Attendees: *Face Palm*

1👍 1👎

Brain-dead bozos

Average 18 year old American college students w little income but a shitload of debt

Greg Gutfeld is right when he says our government, instead of educating us as its future generations, simply turned us into brain-dead bozos and made a profit 📈 at the same time.

Apparently turning future generations into brain-dead bozos is amoral but profitable. How disgusting 😤

1👍 1👎

Dead Cat Dirty

Dead Cat Dirty is when your place of residence is in such a state of disarray from obsessive hoarding and/or pure lazines, and so vile that beneath the foul debris, one is certain to find a dead cat. The presence of a dead cat does not rely on whether or not the homeowners actually own or owned a cat. Once a certain degree of filth is reached, a rotten, decomposed cat carcass instantly appears. It is still under investigation exactly how the bizarre carcasses appear, and where they come from.

Girl 1: I went to Javier's house last night for some cocking and locking, but to my dismay, his apartment was DCD! I immediately got as dry as a nun's cunt.

Girl 2: What's DCD?

Girl 1: Dead Cat Dirty.

1👍 1👎

beat the dead horse

To continue jacking off after ejaculation.

Henry: "Yeah bro me and my friends were all sitting around a fire, just beating the dead horse!"

Joe: "Be careful man! If you beat the dead horse too much you could get a 90 degree angle cock from that!"

Henry: "You only get one life joe, live it up."

2👍 1👎

Dead dogged me

Something you did that was a turn off for your partner. Almost like imagining a dead dog as a turn off for yourself, but the other person does it.

Ruining a sexy moment.

We were talking dirty to each other and then he mentioned my friend. He totally dead dogged me.

Yea that's a major turn off.

1👍 1👎

dead with a capital t

To be so utterly dead and exhausted that all logic and meaning becomes irrational and is replaced with a puddle. This can also be related to dancing and the symptoms include tiredness and mild insanity. The "t" stands for tayra -small South American weasel-like carnivore

After dancing I was dead with a capital T

1👍 2👎

Dead Dazai Osamu

L i think hes dead.

Steps on how to dead dazai:

Step one: Get Bram Stoker BSD to vampire Chuuya.
Step two: Get Russian Rat to control vampire Chuuya.
Step three: Russian Rat tell Chuuya to kill Dazai Osamu.
Step four: Dazai legs get broken and he cant move on floor.
Step five: Chuuya come in with gun.
Step six: Chuuya pew pew Dazai shoulder first.
Step seven: Dazai say ow it hurt.
Step eight: Chuuya shoots Dazai in the head.
Step nine: Dazai die.

Thats how you get a Dead Dazai Osamu!
*insert dead dazai image*

7👍 3👎