Bert Kreischer sit-ups

Bert Kreischer sit-ups is a highly competitive exercise competition requiring each participant to insert a well lubricated prosthetic penis and or phallic shaped object(s) into the anus prior to performing maximum effort sit-ups. The goal is to perform the maximum amount of repetitions each round prior to the prosthetic penis and or phallic shaped object(s) fully dislodging from the body. A winner will be determined following ten rounds of continuous play with no more than a one minute break in between rounds.

…those last few rounds of Bert Kreischer sit-ups was a gut check!

Ernie and Bert Syndrome

Ernie and Bert Syndrome is the rare case of when two men declare homosexuality and get into a relationship with each other, but also declare asexuality, effectively making them just friends.

"Tim and Jerry are gay but they both said they're asexual."
"So that makes them just friends then. There's a term for that. Its called Ernie and Bert Syndrome."

Bert-reading

Reading of a petition perform before signing it, to find out if you should support it or not, although the title is convincing. It's the final stage before signing a petition.

X: Did you just sign that petition ?
Y: Yes, why ?
X: You know better! Please do a bert-reading next time!!
Y: Why ?
X: Petitions can be very powerful and being attention to issues that we don’t know about... but I really need you to read some of these before signing. Some of them don’t be saying nothing and actually detract from grassroots organizations that are already doing the work.

Bert Alert

When an emergency meeting is called and you get a boner

Shit! uhhhh... bert alert...

Bert's Law of Forgetful Transactions

The probability of a finance manager forgetting to collect the down payment that is directly proportional to the size of the down payment and inversely proportional to the memory capacity of the involved manager.

I saw the finance manager running after a customer realizing that Bert's Law of Forgetful Transactions had taken place.

Bert's Law of Forgetful Transactions

The probability of a finance manager forgetting to collect the down payment that is directly proportional to the size of the down payment and inversely proportional to the memory capacity of the involved manager.

I saw the finance manager running after a customer realizing that Bert's Law of Forgetful Transactions had taken place.

Skinny Bert Newton

A special breed of human, can be found wining and dining birds in high class establishments otherwise he's usually running around in creeks like some regular old creek nigga, doesn't mind the send or a few nose beers when he gets the chance.

"Fuck me! Thats skinny bert newton!"