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While recieving a blowjob from your partner, at the point of ejaculation pull out your cock and smack them in the face while cumming, thus simulating the mighty roudhouse kick to the face by Chuck Norris.
"Trish is still recovering from 'The Mighty Chuck Norris' Dunn gave her last night."
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The one man God fears. Said to have once won a game of checkers in 1 move.He can also shoot down a plane with his finger, yelling "Bang"
Person 1: Dude! was that just a UFO??
Person 2: No. It was Chuck Norris.
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chuck norris's penis is a fist
chuck norris does not communicate via cellphones, the sheer sound of his voice would penetrate your ear faster than his roundhouse abilities to your face...and you would be instantly deaf. Instead, chuck norris trains owls to carry letters across the world like in Harry Potter. These owls are trained in his backyard.
One day during a training session at norris academy, an owl shit on norris as he was flying overhead, Norris teleported into the air beside the owl, looked him in the eye, and the bird exploded in mid flight. From that day on, Norris's owls know not to fuck around.
chuck norris flexes so fast, that you can hear the sound of a whip being cracked from miles away. This is because he is awesome and no science can prove this theory wrong.
When chuck norris has an orgasm, a thunderstorm instantly occurs in the Latin America.
Chuck norris does not speak to animals, he looks at them, and they either explode or implode, given their surroundings.
Chuck norris once won a long jump competition reaching 157 Meteres running with his eyes closed. Later that day he thought he'd go for a second gold medal and entered in the pole vaulting competition. He won by 396 Meters, catapolting with his penis instead of a pole, because as you know, chuck norris member is a FIST, A MIGHTY STRONG FIST.
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Time traveller/Biblical character. His presence is documented in Revelations of the bible.
"And I saw heaven opened, and behold a white horse; and he that sat upon him was called faithful and true - Chuck Norris, and in the righteousness he doth judge and make war.
His eyes were as a flame of fire, and on his head were many crowns; and he had a name written, that no man knew but he himself Chuck Norris....
And out of his mouth goeth a sharp sword, that with it he should smite the nations: and he shall rule them with a rod of iron (his penis)... and his awesome beard" Revelations 19.
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Chuck Norris is the meanest mother fucker alive and can do anything
Chuck Norris counted to infinity.. Twice
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What the original title of the Bible was.
*ring ring*
This one guy-"Hello? Praise the Chuck."
That guy-"Dude let's go hang out come on! Go & you know..."
This one guy-"I'm really sorry man I can't, I just finished reading Chuck Norris And Friends & now I have to go worship Chuck Norris forever so he won't round-house kick me to the fiery pits of hell for all of eternity!!"
That guy-"...yaa......"
*hang-up*
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COOLER THAN YOU!!
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.
Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
Chuck Norris is my Homeboy.
When Chuck Norris looks in the mirror nothing appears. There can never be a second Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris can unscramble an egg.
When Chuck Norris wants popcorn, he breathes on Nebraska.
Chuck Norris invented the apple.
Chuck Norris beat the Sun in a staring contest.
P is for Chuck Norris, as is every other letter of the alphabet.
chuck norris
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