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(not to be confused with "a god")
Your all-loving, fag-hating, omnipotent, watches you beat off, all powerful, genocide starting imaginary best friend
christian whitebread: How dare you speak against God?! You bastardly heathen!
atheist (or agnostic) chad: Which god?
christian whitebread: The bible one! The real one!
atheist chad: you mean the discriminating genocide starter?
7👍 5👎
An invisible man created by humans to explain things we couldn't explain. Somehow most people still believe in the invisible man, and think after death you have a non physical life to live.
George Carlin on God:
Religion easily has the greatest bullshit story ever told. Think about it. Religion has actually convinced people that there's an invisible man living in the sky who watches everything you do, every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a special list of ten things he does not want you to do. And if you do any of these ten things, he has a special place, full of fire and smoke and burning and torture and anguish, where he will send you to live and suffer and burn and choke and scream and cry forever and ever 'til the end of time!
But He loves you!
8👍 5👎
Biggest joke EVAR.
The worlds #1 imaginary friend.
The only stranger people trust.
The reason we have bad ass holidays like Christmas.
billy: Whose your bestestest friend EVAR?
joe: god.
billy: LOL.
joe: WAT?
billy: i said best friend. not imaginary friend. n00b.
joe: :'(
62👍 67👎
The savior of the world! Creeator of all things, He is the kindest being in all the existance!!!! He sent his beloved son Jesus to rescue us so we can live with Him forever!!! God is the one and only thing on earth we need. So loving, how many Kings would give up their sons for us? We are never alone!!!
18👍 14👎
The dopest nigga in the sky who thought it was funny to give a load of jews commandments such as not to kill, then have that dawg Moses kill neighbouring tribes and have the women raped, cos it was JUST and FAIR (according to Christians). Loves having things killed, including his own son in an eternal act of "kindness"
Of course, this is a FAIRYTALE and in the original FAIRYTALES there were lots of gruesome happenings, not like your sunday school teacher will tell you about 'em! lololololol
If anyone comes across my previous christian babble about the definition of God (under the name JCJ) - forgive me, and give it a nice hearty thumbs down. I didn't know what I was doing at the time...
The Bible says it, God wrote it, it's the truth, that settles it! - Fundie Christian logic (or lack thereof) on any criticism of their beliefs
Genesis says that Giants existed! Holy Shit!
52👍 54👎
who made who?????????did god make us, fuck no. we mad him. in our fucking minds we created an imaginary person.
God Hates Us All!!!!!!!!!!!!!
70👍 76👎
God, as in our almighty lord, is a Canadian named Joel Zimmerman (aka deadmau5). He is God in human form, and listening to his music puts one in a state of religious ecstasy. This state of holy ecstasy can me increased to an orgasmic level by also consuming the drug Ecstasy.
66👍 70👎