Jesus take the wheel

This is for all the religious fanatics who, when finding themselves in a tough situation, have a tendency to let a swear word or to slip. This phrase helps when tempted to do wrong.

Person 1: Did you really just crash the car?!?
Person 2: Yeah...
Person 1: Ohhhhh myyyy gJesus take the wheel!!!!!!!!!!!

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The Second Coming of Jesus

When you fuck a girl after you dip your dick in holy water once and then do it again so it's like a holy Second coming of Jesus.

Amit: Damn bro, I pulled The Second Coming of Jesus with Chloe last night.
Ashwin: Nice Bro!!!!

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jesus is my homeboy

A catch phrase designed to capitalize on the up surge of fad-ish Jesus freaks inspired by The Passion Of The Christ.

The phrase Jesus is my homeboy is very superficial.

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Lord Jesus Christ

-The son of God who died on the cross so that everyone's sins could washed away.
-Was the only human being to ever walk the earth without giving in to sin. The rest of us have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.
-Loves us so much even though we continue to sin and disregard the ten commandments.
-in this day and age, the world and all its material possessions + the devil blind us from the truth!
-the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak.

When atheists or non-Christians are on their deathbeds, they will realise then that the Lord Jesus Christ is real and that he is the way/truth and life.

Dear Lord Jesus Christ,
Thankyou for dying on the cross for us!
Please forgive the sins that we have committed and help us to forgive those who have sinned against us.
In Jesus wonderful name we pray,
Amen.

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for the love of hopscotching jesus

a phrase used to replace the word ridiculous when the situation or topic is beyond ridiculous and ridonkulous

So right when I was about to cum I pulled out and donkey punched her.

..For the love of hopscotching jesus..really?

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you need jesus

you need jesus is the name of a local rug installer

tired of that hard wood flooring raising the cost of insulation you need jesus can help 666 777 0909

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Jesus-Handle

Much like a regular "handle" of liquor, a Jesus-handle is any quantity greater than 1.75 L of top-tier liquor. It is a colloquial for people who avoid the Godless metric system, and believe that sermons are best preached from atop a bar-stool.

"Sorority sisters just can't hold a candle

to the St. Mary's girls when they grab my Jesus-Handle."

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