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Stand On Every Thing You Say By Any Means Necessary
In Some Situations You Got To Become A Real Lyfer
Used as an alternative to "just like in real life / in the real world". Currently used by out-of-touch marketing executives and aging, formerly-trendy people desperately clinging to the last shreds of relatability with maturing zoomers, attempting to prove they are still trendy and "with it".
Inverse of the phrase "Just like in the simulations."
1: "If you spend money on this product or service, you'll have an edge on your competition- just like in the reals."
2: "Shut up, grandma. Go get your AARP card, you old fat bitch."
1: "I'm only 37. Stop being so toxic, you sexist, body-shaming incel!"
2: "Are you so elderly and out-of-touch you're unable to 'internalize' how blatantly artificial you sound to other people?"
1: *Spends a full 60 minutes angrily ranting on Twitter*
Da yucky stinky brown fluid dat drains outta yer ears after a day of dealing wif people who feed you tons of BS --- you need copious squirts of fake or "sham" poo to lather it all outta yer hair again.
If yer a "Baldy from Baldymoore" dude who seldom needs to visit a barber, you would not need so much "sham poo" to clean da "real poo" offa yer chrome dome as someone who is blessed wif a thick "mop on top" dat da BS would soak in and stick to; also, a lotta da disgusting "verbal excrement" drainage would merely drip off yer smooth scalp instead of actually remaining on yer head in da first place, and therefore there would be less of Ollie North's "residuals" there to clean off during your evening shower.
A messy substance which you must carry on to a flight because the airline wouldn't let you bring more than 100mL of the sham poo.
Unlike sham poo, real poo is solid and thus circumvents the arbitrary limits on liquids carried in carry-on baggage.
Sham poo is just fake shit. Ick.
Eschew shampoo! Demand the real poo!
n. Person who aspires to leave their dreary life behind in order to attain a fulfilling artistic career. Often a lazy schizophrenic drunkard.
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Laugh if you want! I won’t always be a real estate novelist.
Another suture doctor?
Thanks nurse. Want to hear about my beehives?
No. Not really.