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1. A Person who is a preacher but would rather spend all their time on Facebook bashing other Preachers instead of doing what they were called to do.
That person is such a Facebook Preacher, I never see them outside of the Church except on Sundays. They stay on Facebook.
A person on a college campus that is dressed like a college student, but is clearly not a student, and tries to talk to you about their religion.
Dude, I got stuck talking to a preacher creeper for ten minutes yesterday.
6đź‘Ť 1đź‘Ž
Found in rural and inner city America. Started a nondenominational, unaffiliated church in an abandoned mini-mall storefront or small building with very low or no rent. If the church becomes a success, may acquire a degree from an unaccredited small Bible college or the internet. Active in local politics.
The leader of the Down the Road Church spoke at tonight’s city council meeting against the initiative because it did not, “follow God’s law and therefore was unconstitutional.” When asked by the city council president where the Bishop received his degree, he held up his Bible to a quiet chorus of “Amen” from attendees. The Undocumented Preacher won the day and the initiative failed.
6đź‘Ť 1đź‘Ž
A girl who was a goodie goodie in high school then goes to college and goes crazy with drugs alcohol etc...
That Megan has really turned into a preachers daughter during freshman year
12đź‘Ť 5đź‘Ž
An incredibly annoying persona adopted by some hardcore stones, the Reefer Preacher is a person who spends an obsessive (even disturbing) amount of time vocalizing their support of marijuana and its benefits, whether or not it is called for in a given situation.
The Reefer Preacher is the sort-of person whose life is literally consumed with a misguided, self-aggrandizing efforts to force their idealized view of cannabis down everyone's throats- hence, they become "preachers" that spout long-winded "sermons" about marijuana at any opportunity.
It's essentially a ploy for them to make themselves feel more “important.” Despite growing support for marijuana legalization, they pretend that marijuana is still a social taboo that is increasingly oppressed, and use that as a platform to annoy the fuck out of everyone unfortunate enough to be nearby with long-winded speaches about how “marijuana is the greatest miracle of nature.”
Reefer Preacher: "Do you smoke?"
Passerby: "Oh... sometimes. I like to at parties every so often, but I don't do it all the time, because sometimes it just doesn't sit well with my body. But on occasion, sure, I like to have a puff or two."
Reefer Preacher: "Don't be ignorant! Marijuana can never, ever not sit well with your system! That's just the secret Illuminati conformist agenda having a placebo effect on your body with all of the anti-marijuana propaganda that they unleash onto air and radio-waves! Don't you know all of the benefits of cannabis?! It can be used for so much... It can cure cancer! It can end droughts! It can stop wars!"
(This goes on for roughly the next 20 minutes)
10đź‘Ť 3đź‘Ž
A guy at Pennsylvania State University, University Park that every student at the university has probably heard yammer endlessly quite a few times as they pass the Willard building (A place where 99% of the study body has had at least one class), and many have argued against for fun. Basically, he spits out Christian bullshit condemning the world we live in every day, and apparently gets paid $30,000 a year to do it, what the hell!
Anyway, for example, he talks about how condoms don't help us at all, when they're obviously better than nothing, how abortion is a horrible thing and should be made illegal, when it isn't the grounds of a religion to ban such in the United States, a country with, as he quotes a lot, has the first amendment (Although yes, it's debatable because some other people have the belief against abortion as well), and how men should be working, and women should be in the house, which he justifies with "scientific research" on people's minds and traditional roles, when this is clearly sexism as one doesn't choose to be male or female.
And finally, my favorites, how a family with two homosexual parents is horrible for a child, when they're typically better than straight couples in terms of a child growing up well. And even better, another about how homosexuals are evil for condemning fundamentalist Christians as homophobes...
But of course, this all programmed stuff he doesn't put a lot of thought into, I mean really, take a look at this link. Section 4C...how do you get that wrong? LOL
thewillardpreacher.com/DefendYourFaithHomosexuality.htm
And if you're to lazy to click the link, I quote:
"
4. Homosexuality does not fulfill the created biological order:
A. Women have a vagina where the male penis has been created to go.
B. There is no such place on the male body.
C. The penis is meant to go into the vagina and women don’t have one.
"
Ummmm, yeah--women don't have vaginas? If you're all knowing Mr. Willard Preacher, than I'm really happy now as I identify as transsexual. What you're saying is that I'm more of a woman than most others because I have a penis at the moment...I LOVE YOU lol--jk, I know what you meant, but still.
Hey, by the way, if as before, you believe men should be doing all the work, why don't you get a REAL JOB bud, be a productive force in the world, rather than try to convert a bunch of intelligent students at a public ivy who can think for themselves to convert to a religion that does it all for them. I mean seriously, at least in Judaism, my religion, I'm told that I should ask questions and you have room to challenge traditional values and live your own Jewish life; you're just told by the church what to believe, and that's it.
Willard Preacher: But why, why do the homosexuals label us as homophobes? We're not homophobes, we are simply people who don't believe that the human penis belongs in another man's tuchus, and that there is no possible way for two women to have sex naturally at all. Men were born with a penis, and women a vagina, and it is only natural that the two go together, and not for pleasure, but to make children, and children only. So, two men, doing whatever that blasphemous stuff is that they do, isn't that against g-d, isn't that against nature? Same thing with women, there is no way they're compatible. So, I don't think we're homophobes, if anything they're the bigots trying to change the natural law of things. They should go to hell.
Jenny: (Walking by hand and hand with her girlfriend, Kate) Sir, I hate to break it to you, but woman and woman, we can have sex, what I've had with Kate here is better than anything I've ever had with a guy. Shut your trap and get your facts straight before you start telling people to live their lives in way that doesn't make them happy, yet the life that would make them happy wouldn't hurt them or anyone else.
Kate: Yeah, like seriously, if anything, you're the one who should be going to hell here, it's only one sin--and you make dozens a day telling people this I'm sure. If g-d told you to have sex with men only, and yet you were still straight, I'm sure you would still only enjoy sex with women
Jenny: By the way, will you actually tell us your name and where you live? Everyone here is curious.
Willard Preacher: No, why would I tell you two fuckup dykes where I live (sidenote: I've honestly heard the Willard Preacher use the word faggot before against people who asked a similar question...I wouldn't be surprised if he said that).
Jenny: Wow--whatever, I'm going up to Math, bye!
55đź‘Ť 31đź‘Ž
The butt grease on one's upper lip remaining after giving a rim job.
Vaguely similar to the Dirty Sanchez.
When Father O'Connor came back from the bathroom he had a Preacher's Moustache, that dirty bastard.
5đź‘Ť 1đź‘Ž