Random
Source Code
Random
In hockey when a player is a total bender and his helmet is of the Bauer brand attached with the ugly stock Bauer cage. most players, at least cool ones, get the Bauer helmet with a dope CCM or Itech cage, not the ugly grey Bauer one that makes u look like a total fag. So when you see a player that is a complete scrub and is wearing this combination, make sure you complement him on his nice Bauer-Bauer Combo.
"Hey Dave, nice Bauer-Bauer Combo faggot"
v. To seriously wreck someone's flow, especially in the style of Jack Bauer.
Darryl was having a nice day, but I had to bauer his ass when he stepped to my girl.
82👍 138👎
adjective: to engage in 24 hours of strenuous activity including stopping numerous bombs and potential fatal viruses. is better than what chuck norris, Mr T and McGuyver combined could come up with in a single day.
"oh jeez mate i had a Bauer of a day! I just found out that my son is a terrorist, disowned him, fell in love with three women (all of whom i interogated for being the mother), beat one of them to death, then got fired from CTU, then reinstated again for saving my 7th president, then found out the president was shagging my ex wife--the mother of my terrorist son-- so i decided to take heroin as a way of dealing with the problem but told everone it was to work undercover, i then got off the smack in the next hour and told my son he was alright after all and got him a job working at CTU and that was my day...can i use the toilet?"
35👍 129👎
1. the state of being raw, similar to that of jack bauer.
2. the act of brutally and skillfully killing terrorists with both hands cuffed to a a desk.
Dude, that was so bauer!
Did you see me kill those sand niggers bauer style?
21👍 120👎
to totally jack something...synonyms; wretch, jack, kype
He totally just bauered you spot cause you didn't call seat back
12👍 115👎
Chuck Norris is tough, but Jack Bauer is tougher. Walker Texas Ranger never had to deal with Terrorist and get things done in 24 hours….or did he? Anyway, Jack Bauer is tough, and he is the new man with the Random Facts.
1.If you wake up in the morning, it’s because Jack Bauer spared your life.
2.Upon hearing that he was played by Kiefer Sutherland, Jack Bauer killed Sutherland. Jack Bauer gets played by no man.
3.If Jack Bauer was in a room with Hitler, Stalin, and Nina Meyers, and he had a gun with 2 bullets, he’d shoot Nina twice.
4.Jack Bauer killed 93 people in just 4 days time. Wait, that is a real fact.
5.Jack Bauer got Hellen Keller to talk.
6.Jack Bauer was never addicted to heroin. Heroin was addicted to Jack Bauer.
7.Jack Bauer’s favorite color is severe terror alert red. His second favorite color is violet, but just because it sounds like violent.
8. 1.6 billion Chinese are angry with Jack Bauer. Sounds like a fair fight.
9.If Jack says “I just want to talk to him/her” and that him/her is you… well amigo, you’re fucked.
10.Jack Bauer once forgot where he put his keys. He then spent the next half-hour torturing himself until he gave up the location of the keys.
11.Jack Bauer doesn’t miss. If he didn’t hit you it’s because he was shooting at another terrorist twelve miles away.
12.If you get 7 stars on your wanted level on Grand Theft Auto, Jack Bauer comes after you. You don’t want to get 7 stars.
13.When you open a can of whoop-ass, Jack Bauer jumps out.
14.Jack Bauer does not sleep. The only rest he needs is what he gets when he’s knocked out or temporarily killed.
15.If you are still conscious, it is because Jack Bauer doesn’t want to carry you.
16.Jack Bauer has no problem following orders, unless you tell him to do something he doesn’t want to.
17.Jack Bauer’s gun is actually a water pistol, but the water shoots out in the form of bullets. Why? Because the gun is being held by Jack fucking Bauer.
18.Lets get one thing straight, the only reason you are conscious right now is because Jack Bauer does not feel like carrying you.
19.As a child, Jack Bauer’s first words were “There’s no time!”
20.While being ‘put under’ in the hospital, Jack Bauer can count backwards from 100 every time. This annoys the doctors.
21.Jack Bauer can watch all 4 seasons of 24 in 24 hours.
22.Jack Bauer literally died for his country, and lived to tell about it.
23.Jack Bauer’s family threw him a surprise birthday party when he was a child. Once.
24.Killing Jack Bauer doesn’t make him dead. It just makes him angry.
25.Everytime Jack Bauer yells “NOW!” at the end of a sentence, a terrorist dies.
26.If Jack’s starring at someone and his eye twitches, assume that person has less than 15 minutes to live.
27.When life gave Jack Bauer lemons, he used them to kill terrorists.
Jack Bauer fucking hates lemonade.
28.Guns dont kill people, Jack Bauer kills people.
29.David Spade always says ‘yes’ to Jack Bauer when he wants to redeem his credit card miles.
30.Don’t ask what Jack Bauer would do for a Klondike bar…
1724👍 187👎
The daughter of former CTU Los Angeles agent "Jack Bauer". Somehow, she always manages to get kidnapped numerous times a day, date a bunch of wanks, and miraculously get a job at CTU with little to non prerequisites. She's now a notorious backstabbing bitch after that shit she pulled in season 5.
Kim Bauer deserves to fry, nobody messes with Jack and get's away with it!
79👍 10👎