Bears

A terrifying beast that will literally rip your face of just so that he can show his bear buddies how stupid you look. A bear will fuck your mother while fingering your little sister and then eat your pancreas while drilling a hole in the top of your head and then pissing up your nose an out that hole.

A bear can swallow an orange and shit out a new world religion.

When you see waves at the beach, its because the ocean is trying to escape from bears who feel like swimming.

A retarded boy from Wisconsin once hugged a bear on a camping trip long ago. That boy turned out to be Jesus.

The Space Shuttle was originally created to escape from Bears and find a new bear-free planet. The Appollo and Columbia shuttles had the misfortune of not bear-proofing the doors.

The Extinction of the Dinosaurs was actually caused by one Bear and 7 Beers.

Friday the 13th is based on the true story of a Bear who got bored on day.

A Grizzly from Northern Canada has more friends on Myspace than Tom.

God decided one day to fight a Bear in one of his forests. The outcome resulted in the forest becoming the Sahara Desert and God becoming Anna Nicole Smith.

Bears

"Hey, I heard Chuck Norris died yesterday." "Yeah, he made a Bear joke in public."

"How did Jeff die?" "A Bear" "A Bear ate him?" "No, it hit him while going 60 in a 03 Toyota."

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Bear

Facts from studying bears

1. Bears are really fucking big
2. Bears are really fucking strong
3. Bears are really fucking cute
4. Bears are really fucking hairy
5. Bears don't give a fuck, got a gun they have a fucking claw
6. Bears have really fucking sharp claws
7. Bears don't need technology they're fucking bears they don't fucking give a shit
8. Bears know how to speak human they find it just too fucking hard
9. Bears are constantly surrounding the world Pandas, Brown Bears, Polar Bears, whats next, holy shit it's BLACK BEARS!

Holy shit there's a fucking bear, better get the fuck away.

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bear

A word that can be added to almost any name in attempt to make it sound cuter.

An easy way to create a nickname

These flowers are gorgeous, thanks joshbear!

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-bear

an affixed term used to further enrich or denounce a person's first or last name; most commonly applied to those easily agitated or those that show "bear"-like qualities

Where the hell is Davey-Bear tonight?
Wow, look how bear.. Mary-Bear is right now.

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bear

adjective:- word used to emphesize a thing as massive or long. often used by chavs and teenagers living in a n urban area. Bear can also be used to call someone as if to say they are great or amazing.

person 1: "hey, an you walk to the shop for me and get me a coke?"
person2: "nahh man that will take bear time and i have to go outin a bit, sorry."
person 1: "ahh, ok the don't worry about it."

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Bears

Bears are large furry carnivores of the family Ursidae. Large bears can measure up to 14 feet tall when standing on their hind legs, and 2000 pounds (1 ton). Bears are found all over the world, but generally speak with pronounced Russian accents. Bears are known to enjoy raw salmon, with copious amounts of vodka. Never, under any circumstances, try to out-drink a bear. Their superior body mass and Russian-ness will allow them to drink you under the table without even getting tipsy. Many bears also enjoy Cuban cigars.

Me: Whats up?
Bears: Здравствулте, товарищ!
Me: Lets drink vodka!
Bears: Да!

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Bear

A man is considered a Bear if he is hairy, well-built, hyper-masculine, with this strong body and appearance, yet with a heart as big as his chest.
He does not have a 'camp' bone in him. He has a tendency to growl in his sleep and during other bed activities. He is unashamed of bodily-function noises. Practicality dictates his fashion tastes. A Bear man is every straight man's gay fantasy!
Aw hell, you are the Daddy! Guys in this category are Goldberg, Billy Mays, Richard Karn, the Bounty paper towel guy, blue-collar guys.

Did you see the hot guy? Butch, and regular-looking - He is a Bear. WOOF!

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