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A term used to refer to a homosexual man. Inspired by the name of famous gay musician, Jon Bon Jovi.
"Hey did you hear Matt is gay?"
"Yeah, I heard him and Ryan are both Jovians"
Refers to a person who identifies as a homosexual male. The word, coined by Matthew Watson and Ryan Magee of SuperMega, comes from famous singer Bon Jovi, who they erroneously state is a gay man.
I am an ally to both lesbians and jovians alike!
A metaphor for something recognizable but which cannot possibly be that thing. Implies that you should be careful of the thing, precisely because it cannot be what you recognize it to be.
If, however, you are encountering something that quacks like a duck and looks like a duck and craps like a duck swirling around Jupiter’s Great Red Spot, the one thing you should definitely conclude is that you’re not dealing with a duck. In fact, you should probably back away slowly and keep your distance until you figure out what you are dealing with, because there’s no f*cking way a duck could have evolved in the Jovian atmosphere. You are encountering a Jovian Duck. gently edited from Peter Watts
A predictive algorithmic structure used to determine the probable outcomes of ranked online video game matches by analyzing complex, non-linear sequences in historical match data. The Jovian Split identifies statistically significant clusters in performance trends such as, team skill composition, recurring causes of defeat, opponent behavioral variance, time-of-day performance shifts, and geographically-induced server-side team configuration mismatches. It relies on stochastic modeling and probabilistic inference to surface outcome patterns that repeat under specific conditions with exceptional predictive power.
In practical terms, a Jovian Split may refer to a sharply defined trajectory of outcomes, such as a 2-win, 6-loss, 9-win, 1-loss, 90-win sequence emerging predictably when key factors align. While not deterministic, the system operates with greater accuracy than standard ranking metrics like ELO or MMR. It is used to forecast competitive outcomes, identify matchmaking anomalies, and model the influence of hidden variables on win probabilities.
"The team’s sudden 5-win, 7-loss, 10-win streak isn’t random — it’s a classic Jovian Split forming, triggered by roster consistency and repeated exposure to the same match pool."
The term originates from Jovian of Ephesus, an 8th-century proto-statistician and philosopher known for applying early probabilistic reasoning to public contests and athletic games. Through obsessive documentation of variables ranging from competitor lineage to environmental disturbances and officiating inconsistencies, Jovian developed an early framework for prediction that laid dormant for centuries. His approach was revived and adapted to digital competition in the modern era, where the same principles now govern the understanding of match outcome dynamics, known collectively as the Jovian Split.