married

A guy that is pussy whipped, hen-pecked, has no life, has no friends, and can't make any decisions without asking his bitches permission first.

Why the fuck did I ever get married to that frigid gold-digger cunt?

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Married

I heard a rumor that she cheated on her prime husband with Harry Styles

Hym “I heard that she WAS married but she cheated on her husband with Harry Styles, so.... Hurray hypergamy! Retard with a meaty dongle beats prince! And I still think I wrote some of that movie. I’ll bet you 1 million dollars some of this is in that piece of shit... Tssk! 😤 dumb slut... tarnish my good name. And Chris Pine should have beat the shit out of that little faggot for spitting on him. Actually, I will officially offer my services to help Chris Pine jump him. We’ll catch him in his trailer so he can run. Rearrange his face. And then we can go throw piss filled water balloons at the snake-whore... and then we can go get ice cream...”

Iam “What... are you doing with that knife?”

Hym “Huh? This? 🔪 Nothing.”

Iam “You’re not going to stab me again, are you?” 😰 “I still have a scar from the last time....”

Hym “PFFFTTT!! YOU’RE ALIVE!?”

Iam “How would I be talking if I wasn’t alive?” 😒

Hym “I thought you were some kind of force-ghost! I don’t know. A figment of my imagination or something.”
👉😣
Iam “Ow! Stop it!”

Hym “Wild. That is wild. Whelp. I’m going to bed.”

Iam “I... Whatever...”

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Married to the Game

To put work above all else in life. Dedication to a job, craft or building one's skill.

Hustling, paper chasing.

I don't have time to date or take vacations because I'm married to the game, and the grind don't quit.

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Married to the sea

Married to the sea means you are to busy to get married. The origin of the phrase came from the tendency of seafaring men to stay unmarried because of their commitment to their ship, which kept them at sea for long periods of time where women were scarce. The phrase is also used today to describe the habitually single who are unlikely, or unwilling to wed.

"Sorry love, I'm married to the sea."

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marry the ketchups

It's where you pour a half full bottle of ketchup into another half full bottle so you have one full bottle

Um, I wanted to get here early to marry the ketchups.

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married 69

When a spouse cannot stand any more of their husband (or wife's) snoring and decides to sleep with their head at the foot of the bed.

I woke up looking at my wife's feet and realized we had just had a married 69. That's as close as I'm going to get after ten years of marriage.

married with children

Funniest show ever. Aired on the FOX network, which started in 1986. MWC started in 87, making the first ultr-succesful show for FOX. When the show launched, it wasnt a hit, but later it caught on. Since this show, there have been many copy-off shows with dysfunctional families. None of them were as good. Ultimately, one of the funniest sticoms ever.

I still watch Married With children re-runs everyday on the FX channel.

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